Starting a fresh.. Looking forward to my future

Closing this blog

2009-07-15T21:56:00.000-07:00

I AM CLOSING THIS BLOG. IT IS TIME TO MOVE ON!

Me and nengwei, is the past tense already and things have turned to a situation that we may not be together again:( so it time to move on and start a new:)

Starting a new is not as difficult as i think:) i Have already taken my first step of trying to forget him:) And i have already change my blog:( hope this would end our memories here.. I dont wanna continue missing him as i used to:( hais.. I want to start a new life..

I just hope the best for him:)

my new blog is: www.huiimiin-evania.livejournal.com

love love
huiimiin<3

Thanks for everything:)

2009-07-12T08:43:00.001-07:00

I would like to thanks my nanade nengwei for all the things he had done for me when i need him most:) He has been patient with me and would always be there for me when i need him.. Although sometimes i am very naughty, dont wanna eat well, dont wanna eat medicine, dont wanna listen to him.. he would never scold me.. But keep on saying "haiyo, aiyo" hahas:) this is him.. A man of a few words:)

Missing the times when we are together.. If i got a chance, i would never let him go..

But now if you ask me to fall in love with other guys, i dont think i will.. I dont wanna experience relationship or a heart break the 2nd time.. I am afraid of getting hurt already.. I only wants to be with nanade if can.. I really miss him alot.. but time just cant heal the wound within us.. I love him, but i dont know he still love me a nt.. hais..

What i want now is everything to be fine.. Nengwei stay healthy and also stay safe at work then i very happy le.. I dont wan anymore things to happen to us.. I just wants the best for him..

How i wish i would do the things that we had done before all over again.. Would there be a chance? I dont know.. I just hope i can pull through these period of time:)

love love
huiimiin<3

I miss you:(

2009-07-06T05:44:00.000-07:00

I misses your smile that you put on your face every single day. You maybe a man of alittle words, but i know you have alot of things you wished to express.. From the day we started this journey together, I already know i wants to be with you.. You walked the tough road with me.. Brought me out of my phobia, and I could still remenber the first time we hold our hands together, was at tamp 1. You were there waiting for me after my drama cca, and i was late. But you didnt say a word. And i felt gulity. If you were late, i would asked why are you late.

I could still remenber the first time we break up, the moment you left expo. Your eyes seems to feel with tears, and i felt hurt to see you like this.. halfway through the service, i receive a msg from you saying you that you have hurted yourself, I broke down into tears and went to CGH with clara.. I was worried about you.. I am sorry:(

The fun we had when we are together, are the times of my happiest moment i ever had.. Although it maybe just in a short of a few months, but i really felt happy when i am with you..

We been through so much together, Breaking up and patching back again.. I really felt that i am a bad girlfriend.. You are the best boyfriend i ever had.. I really miss you lotts:( I really miss you:(

My love for you

2009-07-06T05:09:00.000-07:00

I wrote a song about me and nengwei.. We end le.. It really hurts.. I just want you to come back.. but it seems so far away now..

TITLE: I just want you back.

There are somethings i couldn say

There are somethings i am missing

There are somethings so precious that i cant bear to leave.

I am still waiting for your return

I am still staying right here for you..

I will always be there for you..

Deeper in love with you, deeper in love with you.

I love you more than anything in life.

Deeper in love with you, deeper in love with you.

How can i forget your love for me?

The things we have done, i will never forget.

Even if i searched all the world, i will never find a love like yours.

The things we had all done together, no one could ever replaced.

I just want you to come back. I just want you my love.

I Just you my love. I just want you.

The things we had done together, i will never find someone to replace you.. I am now trying to move on.. The road ahead maybe long, but i dont want to walk it alone.. I want you to walk it with me.. But you dont want.. It really hurt me lotss.. I am trying to get over it.. I miss you very much.. Can you dont leave?

Crying over the lost everyday:( When will i be happy?

huiimiin.

I miss you:(

2009-07-05T06:02:00.000-07:00

<----- at my wishlist, my wish is to be with nanade again, but this would never come true anymore.. It look very near to me, but this dream is drifting further away from me.. i really miss him.. I love him more than before, and tis hurt me even more.. crying myself to slp.. missing him

Yesterday i was very very happy, cos i manage to see nengwei:) I brought him a cap fom esprit and i thought that it suits his style:) but i am not sure if he liked it a nt:( hais:(

Then today i went to the church and had alot of fun with my cell group members:) Darwin and kenneth was like playing with the big spectacles:) and i find that it looks better on darwin instead of wearing it on kenneth:) kenneth seems upset about what i said:( oh no.. he is really upset about it:(

After the service, we went to paya lebar to eat western food:) Yummy:) the western food was delicious, how i wish nanade is here to share it with me:) but unfortunately, there wouldn be a chance anymore i guess:( hais:( feeling upset about the relationship between us:( sad is all i could say:(

Darwin was like going round to eat clara's fries and flora's potato salad:) so funny:) With them, i can forget my worrys and my troubles:) Thank god for the gift of these group of friends to be there for me:)

As for me and nengwei:( i dont know what to say:( tired of everything:( i could still remenber how we get together, and now it is also me asking for patch:( hais:( upset but he wouldn be there anymore:( Crying myself to bed every night:( when will i be happy again?? waiting for the comfort from him, but it seems so far from me:(

sad me:(

huiimiin

Damn sianx!

2009-07-03T20:08:00.001-07:00

Hmm. starting school in 2days times.. looking forward in clinical attachment:) But i backside itchy go put SGH, should have put TTSH.. Hais.. it is ok:) i can see weilin at SGH and also my ortho doctor:) hahas:)

Went to meet flora at tamp mall at 4.30pm then we went to buy some stuff for evening.. So i also took this chance to buy my book, Marked, the House of the night's first book:) WOoHOo~ finally brought that book:) I cant live without my book:) This book is on vampires too:) it is a nice book, different from twilight series.. A good book to read on.. Read the first chapter already, and i find the storyline is not bad.. looking forward to read more of it..

After buying the book, we headed to the hokkaido fair and it was full with people, WOW!! probably it is becos it is the first day of the fair:) yupp.. we didnt stay at the fair long cos it was full of people:) So we headed to NTUC to buy drinks for the night:) Was taking a long time in choosing the drinks:) hahas:)

After that, we headed to jared hse. we meet darwin and kenneth at the bus stop near jared hse.. When we reached, we then realise that kenneth forgot to take the house key from jared! ARGH!! we have to wait downstairs:( oh man:( so me and flora was waiting downstairs while kenneth and darwin went to buy food for the night:) while waiting, jason came.. He was so rock with the clubbing music on the headphone that he was as if he was in the club:) me and flora kept on giggling about it.. not long after edo is here too and the num's brother (kenneth and darwin) came back from buying the food:) Kenneth is always teasing me about alex.. hais.. HEADACHE!! I already told him that there is nothing happening between me and alex, but the still continuing teasing me.. hais.. Worst still is, he act like alex.. hahas:) that was the most funniest part of the day..

Waited for a long time, and finally jared is back to open the door for us:) I helped out with the housework and then was resting on the sofa messaging nengwei:) And the guys, except jason, was in the kitchen making the food for the night:) more and more people are here and we started pray and worship:) It has been a long time never have cell group le.. miss it so much:) we was having some games first, and lieon, had alot of stickers on the face cos he got alot of question wrong:) hahas:) so much fun:)

After the praise and worship, I left without eating anything.. Cos i thought of heading home and go out.. but in the end, i didnt go out nor eat anything.. hais..

Miss nengwei:( miss my nanade very much:(

love love

huiimiin<3

I had a fun time today:)

2009-07-02T19:46:00.000-07:00

Hmm.. Today i went to my grandma hse in the morning.. I wanna spend more time with her as she is going for a checkup of her gastric region next wednesday and she have to stay in the hosp for observation. I understand that old people are afraid of going to the hosp as they believe that once they go in, they cant come out.. My grandma have that perception in her.. And i was pretty sad about it.. I am really worried about her condition as i dont think i have spent enough time with her.. I was telling her that she still have to attend my 2 cousin's wedding next year and also must wait for me to get married and also give birth to kids.. I dont want her to leave us so early.. Pretty sad.. I praying hard that there is nothing wrong with her..

I left my grandma hse at about 2plus and i headed to tamp mall to meet flora, cos we are shopping for things and also nengwei's birthday present.. Instead of shopping for his present, i shopped for mine:) hahas.. I brought a pair of ear studs.. and i will go and pierce my ear soon!! Wanna look prettier:) hahas.. And then i saw a pair of shoe very nice!! i wanna buy, but thinking that i need to prorities my things, and nengwei's things is more impt then my shoe.. SOB SOOB!! MY SHOE!! never mind, i can always get it at a later time..

I am thinking of going to orchard to shop for nengwei's present.. And probably would need some help from the guys this time:) hahas.. not very sure flora and the rest are free, but i must shop for his present before i start my attachment! Cos i would be busy in the hosp and once again, no time for shopping spree.. sob sob.. and i m aimming to perm my hair in september school holidays!! YuPpiee! by that time, my hair would be long enough to perm.. cant wait to that day:)

Missing nengwei very very much:) and he booked out today le.. WOoHOo~ he dont need to book in anymore:) hee~ Love him lotts, but whether we will be back together a nt, i dont know.. hais.. I hope that there would be this day.. hais..

love love
huiimiin<3

I love my nanade!!

2009-07-01T00:21:00.001-07:00

Today went back to school.. SIANx! See the stupidd teacher at the corridor.. ARGH!! Irritating!! She shouted for my name, and i was like ' argh.. what do you want from me?' She walk forward and she just ask me what am i doing back in school.. I just told her to hand in some documents.. So kpo lehx..

I have been msging my nanade since morning.. and he msg me say I miss you.. hahas:) I was shocked that he would say that to me.. hahas.. I was really hyper active the whole day and also missing him very much too.. hahas..

I dont really care about the past anymore.. cos i am looking forward to my future.. My friends are saying that i would be a very good nurse cos i care about my patients more than i care about them.. hahas..

Next week starting attachment le.. My hosp is at SGH! Not a bad place.. and i can see weilin there too.. So happy.. looking forward in seeing her there.. And also my doctor huang and my ortho doctor who operated me.. hahas:)

I am so hyper:) i guess i am going crazy soon.. hahas..

Meeting clara and flora at 7pm city hall.. First cg outing.. i guess it would be a fun one!

love love
huiimiin<3

Missing my hair

2009-06-30T22:51:00.000-07:00

I miss my hair!! hais.. but it would grow.. today i met my long time no see friend kel and he said, " everytime meet you, you always look so different.. Getting prettier each time i see you.." His these words really comfort me about my hair very much..

Missing my hair but i also miss my nanade.. Missing him every single day, every moment, every breathe i take, but everything is too late to say i love you.. He left already.. The regret i have in me make me feel sad as i didnt manage to tell him i love you personally..

I have been very shy towards him and i regret it now.. I really miss him.. I really do..

How i wish we can start all over again, forgetting the past and start a new..

love love
huiimiin<3

I am really very very upset with my life

2009-06-27T22:21:00.000-07:00

I am really very very upset over my life now.. disappointed with my relationship, disappointed with my haircut today, disappointed with myself.. hais.. My relationship with nengwei, dont think there would be anymore future as he have gf already, as for my hair? I miss my hair.. I shouldn have cut it impulsely.. I was so furious with nengwei and i went to cut my hair.. It is horrible experience at the salon, wouldn want to go there for anymore hair cut.. hais.. it is ok.. my hair will grow very quickly de.. i dont have to worry so much.. it is just for the time being.. my hair will grow, my hair will grow.. sob sob.. crying under my blanket now..

There have been so much things happening recently and i really think that i am a failure in everything.. I may pass my exams with flying colours but somehow, i felt disappointed in myself with the things happening.. when will all this stop?

I always wonder if me and nengwei will be back together again ma? Now i know le, it is impossible and it is time to move on.. missing him..

love love
huiimiin<3

who can fill my life with colours again?

2009-06-26T05:16:00.001-07:00

I wonder who can fill my life with colours again? My life now seems colourless..

I miss nanade very much.. hais.. i would look forward in msging him every single day now.. but i think we will never be going to be together le.. I really cherish my relationship with him, but things happened and it had made us drift further from each other.. I dont know if i am angry that he framed me, but i know i still love him the same as before..

Loving someone is a beautiful thing, but when your partner did something wrong, it maybe hard for you to accept.. It goes the same for me and nengwei.. hais.. we really did been through a lot during this period of time.. from the point of time we met, until we fall in love, until we break up, then patch back.. every phrase we have been through alot together.. And it is nengwei that have made me grown up in my relationship..

I am lucky that in my examinations there is no subject that is relationship.. If there is such paper in my examination, i would fail badly and also would pull down my gpa.. Cos i am bad at handling my own relationships.. I can give others good advises, but i cant give myself good advise.. hais.. that is why i am always ended up with wounds in my heart after every breakup..

There is always a rainbow after every rain. There is always a sunrise after every night. So i believe there is a smile after every teardrop.. cos there would always be someone there to make you happy and be there for you and walk with you through.. I have always wish that nengwei would be the one for now.. but i think he got a gf le ba..

I maybe upset, but at the same time i am happy for him as he have found someone to look after him.. I am relieved.. I wish him and his gf would last long and forever loving.. I hope that she would look after nengwei for me..

I may miss him, but it is time to put everything down.. missing him<3

love love
huiimiin<3

When will i be happy?

2009-06-25T09:16:00.000-07:00

Hais.. cant sleep the whole night, so wake up early in the morning today and do some marketing.. Brought somethings back to make soup and cook some dishes tonight.. I still remenber there was once i went to the market to buy some seafood and cooked seafood fried rice for nengwei. And the fried rice isnt nice at all, but nengwei said that it taste great.. There isnt any taste in the fried rice at all.. hais.. he was really nice to me.. And i still remenber the 2nd time i cook is i bake a marble cake for him.. and he says that it is nice, i am not sure.. Really miss those times together..

I still remenber that i have promise him that i would cook fried rice for him again and this time it would be better then then previous one.. but i dont think i got the chance already.. I really miss him alot..

I still love him very much, and also cherished the relationship, but i lied to him saying that i dont wan a bf who is not willing to solve problem together.. actually it is not.. he is the greatest guy i ever met.. it is just that i said those things cos i dont want to hurt anyone le.. I love him, and i dont wan him to get hurt anymore.. Seeing him get hurt again and again by me, i felt guilty and heart pain.. i cant bear to see him so hurt.. I wan him to be happy.. I wan my nanade to be happy again and also joke with me like before.. I really miss the nanade that is used to be so happy and hyperactive him.. I am the caused of his sadness.. I am the caused of everything.. I felt sorry and guilty towards him.. It is all my fault..

When can i be happy? I dont think i would want to go into any relationship already.. I am tired.. I think it is also hard for me to fall in love again, as i got hurt deeper this time.. nengwei is the one who is there to walked with me through these hard times and also showed me the way out of my phobia, and now? he left.. I think my phobia would not go away le.. I am afraid of relationship le.. hais.. I miss nengwei..

love love
huiimin<3

I felt guilty

2009-06-24T05:36:00.000-07:00

I felt guilty towards kenny as he really look after me after the breakup.. He is there for me.. He was also there to picked me up from work yesterday and he said that it is dangerous for a girl to go home so late.. so he came to picked me up.. hais.. told him say dont need already, he dont know how to listen..

I give up on nengwei le.. Thinking that we may not be suitable.. I think i would rather work hard in my studies now and also concentrate on my job.. Relationship comes later i think.. It may be sad and hard for me, but i think it is time to let go.. I believe he can find someone better.. Thinking back on the memories we had together, it is the happiest time ever with him.. i will never forget.. Missing him lotts.. but i believe he would find someone better to look after him.. I cant bear to let him go, but i have no choice.. hope both of us would feel better after this..

I am happy today cos my exams results are out! and my gpa is 2.5:) so happy.. scored well for this time round.. i would worked harder the next time round.. I must work hard for my future.. cos I live for my present and my future, not my past.. what happen in the past is the past, and i cant change the fact about it.. so i will work towards my future de..

I may still love him, but if this choice can make both of us feel better, then i think i will not hold him back.. cos i wan him to be happy..

love love
huiimiin<3

Not feeling well..

2009-06-22T05:06:00.000-07:00

I dont feel very well the whole day.. Was having high fever. I was sleeping in the room and then kenny was at the living room.. I think he fallen asleep not long after i slept.. He was there for me ever since i broke up with nengwei.. I was really depressed about the break up.. When i woke up, i didnt want to wake kenny up so i inform his maid that i am going out for a short while and would not bring my hp along.. I drove to giant to see what i can buy there..

When i was there, I remenber that i have made seafood fried rice for nengwei to eat before and also bake a cake for him also.. I really miss the times when i did those for him.. I still remenber i promise him before that i would improve on my fried rice and would make for him to eat again.. but now? I dont think i would have anymore chance to do it a nt.. I went there to buy some apples and also the lime juice back.. dont know what more to buy.. After buying i went back..

When i reach kenny home, kenny suddenly hugged me so tight and said " why you didnt tell me and you leave without a sound? Can you not make me worry already le can a nt? I wouldn allow you to feel sad again." these words is the same words he told me when i broke up with jerel last december.. But i just tell him to let go of his hands as it is hurting me and i am fine.. I know that my friends around me are worried about me. As i am feeling the same as i felt last december when i broke up with jerel.. They are nice to try all ways to make me happy again, but i just cant be happy.. I felt guilty towards them.. I dont know what can i do to make them happy again too..

I am also finding ways to make myself happy.. I have been eating my fav ice cream, my favourite cakes, my favourite food, doing my fav things, went to the beach to see stars, and also been sleeping as much as i can to already but still no use.. I dont know if i cut my hair will make me happy a nt.. hais..

I am missing him so much lo.. really miss him.. i think the only thing that can make me happy again is be with him.. but i dont think we will be together.. hais..

love love
huiimiin<3

When will i be happy?

2009-06-21T05:57:00.000-07:00

Sat 20th June 2009

Today is the day that i am suppose to go to the zoo with nengwei, but sad to say, it would never happen already.. Before thursday, i wanted to go to the zoo with him so much, and now? Hais.. And that day, i finally cried.. And i finally accepted the fact that he left.. He really left le..

I went to the zoo with weilin and her brother jia wei.. We meet up at AMK hub and go over there together.. There are so many memories on the way there. Memories of me and adrian when we used to go to the zoo every month when we are together but we didnt go to the night safari.. And then there are also memories of me and jerel when we first went to the night safari in august last year and then the zoo on the december the 6th and that that is the day we broke up becos of that girl.. hais.. After the broke up, my life change so much.. hais..

In the zoo we had alot of fun together seeing animals in the zoo.. But it was pretty sad that we didnt manage to see any animal shows.. sad sad.. We took some photos but i am waiting for weilin to sent me.. then i would upload it up..

Although we didnt manage to see any animal show, but we have witness one animal attack. It was the cheetah. There are two zoo keepers went into the area of the cheetah and one of the cheetah ran forward wanting to attack the zoo keeper. And the zoo keeper was communicating with the cheetah in english! wow! And the cheetah went back to the grass patch thinking that he can camoflouge himself.. And then he ran upwards and wanting to lauch an attack again, and the zoo keeper was keeping him away from her.. and the thing end like that..

wow! It is rare for us to view such extraordinary scene as all this is behind the scene thing.. and the only place where we view it is on the television only.. hahas:)

After zoo, we went to eat Roy's chicken rice at tiong bahru.. miss his chicken rice SOoo much!! hahas.. enjoyed myself with the chicken rice and it has some improvment.. good good..

But after all the fun i had, did i really enjoy myself?? To me, i could only say, i would enjoy myself if nengwei is around and share the fun i had with him.. And that would then make me happy.. Missing him..

Sun 21th June 2009

Happy Father's day to all the father on earth!! Went to church today and had games in the afternoon.. nothing much to say about today, just feeling down.. When will i be happy??

love love
huiimiin<3

what am i doing!? i hate myself more than i hate you.

2009-06-19T09:25:00.000-07:00

The word "hais" have become my frequent word used this few days.. I dont know what i am doing sometimes, knowing that i have to concenttrate on the things i do, but i still didnt pay much attention to it.. and almost caused an accident.. hais..

Just came back not long, and now is already 12.27am sat morning.. SOoo late!! hais..

Went out with weilin today.. Meet her at woodlands causeway point at 12noon outside breadtalk, but she came late. She was 15mins late.. It reminds me about me and nengwei.. It is friday, the day when he booked out.. whenever he is late, i would always say him, why he so late.. then always make me wait.. But when weilin arrived, she kept on apologising that she is late and was caught up in the bus.. My reaction to her is, just smiling at her and said it is ok.. It is ok, no worrys.. I really miss him alot alot..

After weilin arrive, she asked about what happen to me and nengwei.. hais.. started my story telling again, and i am tired of repeating myself.. But i know i have already given him up.. hais.. while shopping, i have actually still thinking that i am still with nengwei and then i also see clothing for him, then weilin reminded me that i am no longer with him.. "WHAT AM I DOING!? WHAT AM I THINKING!? I DONT KNOW!? hais.. minmin!!! It is time to wake up le la!! you are no longer with him, his memories should disappear in your mind and start a new!! STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM!! He doesnt worth your missing and worrys.. You trusted him so much, but he? He didnt even trust you at all.. forget about him!!" This is what i have been telling myself for the whole day.. Sickening me.. dont even know how to listen.. How stubborn i am..

After causeway point, we went to tampines to continue shopping and more of nengwei memories appear.. I really hate myself for all the flashbacks i had.. Cant i just forget him? I really wonder sometimes.. cant i get myself out of him?? WHY!! Hais.. *STRESS*

I really hate myself more than i hate him.. I hate myself for torturing myself not eating well this few days, and also didnt take good care of myself this few days.. I really dont know what to do to make myself happy.. I used to have ice cream, my favourite chocolate, my mango pudding and it would cheer me up, but it doesnt seems to be working now.. what i should do to make myself happ? Go to the beach?? Dont want!! It would just remind me of there is a time, when he promised to bring me to the beach, and ended up he didnt bring me there, and i felt hurt cos the feeling is like kenna cheated.. hais..

I went out until very late today and then i am still not happy.. What can i do to make myself happ?? Can i still enjoy my zoo trip tml?? i dont know.. Tired and depressed is all i say to describe my feeling now..

missing him,

huiimiin:(

Everything seems so vague

2009-06-18T05:25:00.000-07:00

What i wrote yesterday would never come true already.. Nengwei left le.. It is so sudden but life still goes on.. His leave would never make me feel better or feel worst.. Life still goes on!? I dont know if i should feel sad or relieve.. I dont know.. I tried to cry, but tears just refused to roll down my cheek.. Am i supposed to feel sad? I asked myself.. I couldn answer.. I think i am numb in relationship and used to being hurt.. What makes me happy again? It used to be hearing his voice, his laughter and everything he done for me.. but now? where is the love i am looking for?

what is love exactly means? I dont know what is true love? I only know i get hurt so many times and this is what i get in relationships.. Hurts, wounds, heartache and teary eyes.. Tired le.. I always thought that love is something unique and i cant find it elsewhere but in this special person only.. But i was wrong now.. I always thought nengwei is the one for me, But i was wrong.. i am always wrong in those judgements in relationship.. it is time to put all down le, My dear minmin!! Everytime seems so vague and yet you still step into it knowing that it is dangerous.. How stupid i am.. i am really stupid to believe those words from guys.. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!! I hate myself, i hate the cruel world that i lived in.. I really hope that the true one would come and rescue me from the cruel world and live in fairytale story..

Somehow what i am looking for now, may not be relationships anymore.. I have been taking risk most of the time when i am in a relationship.. But now.. I would rather take the risk in my studies, so that i can score higher and leave this place for good..

Now without nengwei, life maybe more carefree ba.. I dont have to worry whether he have girls outside.. Whether he go out until very late a nt.. Whether he got eat alot a nt.. When will he allow me to cut my hair.. When will he accompany me as long as before.. When Can i make good fried rice for him.. All this i wouldn have to worry so much already.. Everything is over and it is not for me to worry anymore.. I have to worry about myself and worry about my future now.. Although i will still miss him, but i know i will forget him ASAP de!

love love
huiimiin<3

miss my dear dear

2009-06-17T04:53:00.000-07:00

I miss my baby so much:( How i wish the 2 weeks would pass faster so that he can be out of camp le:) hahas.. although i miss him alot but i am still busy with my stuff and i think i hardly have time for him also. Missing him so much.. I wanna hug him so much:(

Today i went to work and i then realise that my colleague is actually jerel's ex colleague!! OMG! I just can believe what i hear.. I thought this person have been out of my life entirely but no! hais.. SAd.. But never mind la.. I am just hoping that i would never see him on the road or anywhere else throughout my whole life!! Hated him so much.. Hated for the things he done to ruin my life! ARGH!

I cant wait to go to zoo this sat.. but i dont know if my baby can make it a nt.. This few days i have been thinking about what have happen in zoo the last time i went.. Jerel left me there and went away with that girl.. I could still remenber what happen.. That girl kept on messaging him and also threaten him that if he dont leave at once, she would go to malaysia and wouldn come back for the time being.. And jerel took her words and left me all alone there.. Kept on telling me to wait for him.. And i am stupid enough to believe that he would come back but he didnt.. Ever since we break up, i have phobias on relationship.. I am glad that my baby was there for me when i need him.. When we first started out the relationship, i didnt even let him hold my hand nor kissing.. we started holding hands about 1 month later and start our first kiss on the cheek just last week which is ard 3 mths.. We haven even french kiss yet.. hais.. but my baby was very patient with me and he didnt blame me.. I am now trying to let go myself from the phobia i had and start a new with my baby:) Although he never say much things about it, but i know he feel sad deep in him.. I am really sorry baby.. I will promise that i would try to let go of myself for the sake of you de..

Will nengwei be the right one for me? I really hope so.. Cos he is really nice and patient with me despite of the the phobia i had.. He has been understanding towards me and i am touched by the things he have done for me.. There are very little guy around that would do this to his gf..

I love you nengwei baby:) thanks for all the things you have done for me:) I will cherish you de:) Love you tuckloads!! miss you:) love love<3

love love
huiimiin<3

Learning malay now

2009-06-15T04:44:00.000-07:00

Hmm.. went back to school for malay lessons today:) OMG! it is so hard to learn.. How i wished i dont have to learn this kind of stuff.. hahas:) But i will pick up slowly de.. hahas:) But i am happy that my teacher is patient with us:) Huixiang seems to be enjoying very much in the class:) What a great time we had in class:)

After class, me and angelia went to tampines mall and then we went to have our lunch there:) Didnt stay there long cos i am very tired.. Then after that we went to buy bubble tea.. While she buy bubble tea, i went to see around and saw this clinic is actually hiring part timers:) hmm.. found it interesting and i also can learn some nursing skills there, so i decided to go for the walk in interview:) When i went there, there was a lady at the counter she asked me if i have experience in this line and i replied yes. I have 2 working experience in this line as a clinic asst. So she gave me a paper to fill up:) In the Job application, there are interesting things that i have never encountered before in a clinic asst form. Like, give the medicine prescription, side effects of this medicine, state the type of cancer that the person may get if he/she is smoking and also what is the type of advise that you would give to a patient who have diarrhoea.. Interesting right? I like to work in a clinic then working in a sales line.. So boring.. So i am suppose to report to the clinic for training on wednesday 2pm:) WOOHOOO!!!! so happy:)

Hmm.. haven talk to nanade for the whole day.. Miss him so much:) cant wait to share this news with him.. Missing him so much:) shall call him later:) hahas:)

love love<3

huiimiin

Hmm.. had a great time today

2009-06-14T04:38:00.001-07:00

Hmm.. today is the celebrity week:) WoohOo~ so many celebrity are here today:) like F.I.R, Ocean, Liu Gen hong, Vanessa Wu and many more:) i learn alot from them today:) What a great time at church today:) hahas:)

After church we went to bugis to have our steamboat lunch.. We went to the same place where we had our last steamboat with regina, ivan and alex.. hahas:) I didnt eat much today dont know why.. maybe nanade is not around thats why i never eat much ba:( missing him already..

i called him when i was on the way back and he is SLEEPING!! Wow!! so late le yet still sleeping.. how i wish he doesnt need to go back today.. but sad to say, he still need to go back.. I think he must be feeling sad.. One week got 7 days, there are one day that he would feel happy which is the day he booked out, and the day where is hated the most is SUNDAY!! cos he have to booked in... poor thing.. it is ok.. 3 more weeks than he would be out.. And that is when i would start my attachment also.. Sad for me.. Going back into hospital again.. Wonder what is it like at SGH.. hmm...

Missing him everyday is what i am doing.. but my love for him would move on like a river.. and the river would never stop flowing towards unless he wants it to stop.. i was like telling clara that i think i met the right guy for me already.. But i am just hoping that he is the right one.. Love him lottss!!

I LOVE MY NANADE TUCKLOADS<3!

Love love,
huiimiin<3

is there such things as forever?

2009-06-13T01:52:00.000-07:00

I keep on wondering if there is such things as forever? Cos if there is why are there still people feeling sad?? To me there is so such things as forever.. If i were to say i love you to someone i love, i would say forever.. I would say till the day tear us apart.. this sounds better rite? hahas.. So i am going to say i love my baby till the day tear us apart (which is i dont know when)

Today i went out a while with my baby and i was having so much fun with him.. I am happy being with him.. We dont even quarrel de.. Haix.. he is always so silent, and sometimes i feel like scolding him, but looking at him.. i dont think i wanna scold le.. cos he is too cute and i cant bear to scole him.. Sometimes i really wonder if we would last a nt? I really hope we will.. And i would never let him go unless you want me to.. But if that day really come, can i really put down this relationship ma? haix.. Missing him become my daily routine already.. I am always missing him..

I guess he must be really happy today, cos i kiss him and he kiss me too.. hahas... we are just like small kids.. I could still remenber i dont dare to be kissed and kiss him.. Not even holding hands.. But now? I am letting go of myself slowly.. Cos i cant live in the phobia anymore.. If i live in the phobia, my baby will also suffer.. i dont wan him to suffer, so i must not live in the phobia..

When i kiss him, my heart beat very fast and i kiss him at his forehead only.. hahas.. wheras he kiss me at my cheek.. hahas.. he kiss me so many times lo.. my baby have turned into a KISSING FISH! hahas.. but it is ok la.. i can understand.. hahas.. I also hug him today.. hahas.. *cheeky smile* hahas..

I hope we can build a future of our own.. hahas.. thinking too far liao.. hahas.. I LOVE MY BABY!!

love love,
huiimiin<3

happy day today:)

2009-06-04T06:30:00.001-07:00

Hmm.. i am back with nengwei today le.. He suddenly hold my hand in the train.. I was pretty shock at first and didnt expect it to happen.. hahas:) being back with him, was shock at first bud also happy at the same time..

I accompanied him back to his hse there, then i took a bus to compass point while he go home and bath.. I was pretty happy also cos it is my first time to take LRT WoOhOo~ What a great experience.. hahas:)

When he arrived at compass point, we walked around and then we sat at the fountain there.. hahas:) after that he walked me to the bus stop.. Actually i wanna kiss him de.. bud i am afraid, so at the end.. never kiss until.. shy la.. hahas:)

Looking forward to the future of me and nengwei.. hahas:) love him tuckloads:)

love love<3
huiimiin

finally my exams are over!

2009-06-03T20:12:00.000-07:00

Hmm.. Finally my exams are over.. I am relieved now.. Since my exams are now over and i have already given my very best, so i also dont wanna cry over spilled milk already. I am pretty tired of everything that have happen in the term.. Hais.. My classmates are nice, as for the teachers?? Hmm... No comments.. I have enjoyed myself very much in the course with my classmates..

Exams are now over, I will still be busy with my things like the script i am working on " A glimpse of hope" and then also would be going back to SANA for badge scheme.. Then every week will try to go boon lay and wait for nengwei.. Hmm.. let me see what else i have got to do.. Try to go church every sunday.. Hmm.. Every sat got Drama, must try to attend so that i can learn more drama skills.. WOW.. I am pretty busy for the month of june..

I have got to know my hospital posting already and i am posted to SGH!! WoOhOo~ so happy, then i can see weilin there more often le.. hahas:) i really miss the time when i was with weilin they all in school.. so much fun and laughter and also we had gone through so much thick and thin.. Really miss them so much.. Speacking of it, It has been a long long time since we all last met.. Haven been meeting up with pei shi, xiao ling and also fang ting.. WOW.. the last time i met fang ting was like 2 yrs ago?? hmm.. really should start planning to have an gathering now.. hahas:)

Days still goes on busy with my own things, but would try to make some time for my fellow friends de.. love love<3

love love<3
huiimiin

I'm Tired..

2009-06-02T06:29:00.000-07:00

I am really tired today.. Busy with my badge scheme in the morning and afternoon.. But have a great time there with the uniform group.. Although they are a little overboard at times, but i can understand that they are like that de la.. It is understandable..

After i come back for badge scheme, i am busy with my prensentation slides for tml.. I am doing very quickly and hope it would be good that my fellow friends can give me comments.. But it seems like everyone is busy with their exams tml.. no one is free to give me comments.. sad..

Me and nengwei is like a wave.. Going up and down.. Sometimes is high tide, sometimes is low tides and sometimes worst till, no wave at all and it means we are quarrelling.. I dont know if we will be able to patch a nt, my love for him is a a wave too.. sometimes high sometimes low.. When it is low, this happens only when i am angry with him.. hais..

I do really want him good but sometimes i am really dont know what he is thinking.. I cracked my head already, but still, I dont get it..

What is love? What is true love? What is love all about? Why i love the guys all have different kind of problem de.. I am stress up with every bits of my life.. but i just cant find someone to be there for me when i need him.. My expectations are not high, but why no one can meet my expectation?? I really wonder..

Missing nengwei is like a daily routine of my life now, i cant kick away this bad habit and it really hurts me very much when i cant even see him.. Hais.. i would always ask god, this is a hurdle that i need to pass through? I am tired of passing hurdles in my life.. When can i actually stop and have a peaceful life?? But god never answer my question yet.. Maybe it is not the time yet ba.. I just have to be patience and await his plans for me..

I love nengwei, but i am struggling with many factors when i am loving him.. Can i overcome it? Is he willing to overcome it with me?? I dont know.. he never say his answer to me.. Hais.. still waiting for him..

love love,
huiimiin<3

Hmm.. That is my wedding day:)

2009-05-31T06:06:00.001-07:00

hmm.. days have passed pretty fast for me and i have already accepted the fact that we have broke up and he have left me le.. Whether we will patch a not, i dont know.. i only wish h would find a gf soon..

Just did a quiz on "when is my wedding day" in the facebook.. and my wedding is on the MAY 19, 2012.. Wow.. that would be 3yrs down the road.. dont know if it would be accurate a not.. hahas.. Wondering who is my husband..

Tml is my nursing exam le.. I am pretty worried about it, but i will do my very best.. I know that i can do it de.. Must have faith in myself..

Nengwei book into camp le.. but he is dying to come out of the camp.. poor thing.. just went in only and now thinking of coming out liao.. hais.. 5 more days then can see him again.. Really miss him very much when he is inside camp.. But what to do? I am no longer his gf le.. I cant always miss him de.. Will try to forget him asap.. And it is a must..

In the whole month of june i will be very busy.. Busy with writing scripts, busy with badge scheme, busy with church activities and also busy with church camp too.. Still hesitating if i wanna go for the church camp, cos i dont wanna go st john's island.. hais.. if i go for camp, then i confirm will miss nengweil like hell de lo.. hais.. missing him<3

hais.. what to do.. things have turned out this way, i can only feel sad and nothing i can do.. hais..

love love,
huiimiin>3

Had an enjoyable time at SANA

2009-05-27T04:57:00.000-07:00

Today i went to SANA early in the morning with ming da.. We meet at 7.30am at tampines library bus stop and then we headed to sengkang.. We reached there very early, so we decided to have our breakfast at Ya Koon..

After breakfast, i am looking forward in the camp as i love kids:) Woohoo~ i believe i would have an enjoyable time today.. Today the school that is coming is Temasek primary school.. I was looking forward in their coming today..

When we are assigning to our groups, my group consist of luke, ann and me.. And i have 6 boys in my group.. When i took up this group, there is 2 students that i need to have some special care on them as they have some medical problems that i need to take note..

Although they are a little naughty and hyper active, I still treat them all the same and i really had a great time with them with the games and everything.. I love the fashion show the most.. I designed the model with and our group won!! I felt happy when i saw the kids are enjoying themselves..

When they are leaving, i felt sad as the day end so fast.. I felt so sad that i almost cried.. I cant bear them.. Although it is just a few hours interacting each other, but i still build a strong bond with them.. I hope they would shine well in their studies and their nearing future:) Love them very much:)

I really enjoy my day very much with them.. Missing them and missing my nanade:)

love love,
huiimiin<3

I am depressed.. what is the point??

2009-05-24T19:23:00.000-07:00

I am depressed about the lost about nengwei.. Cried during sport and wellness today and i was thinking about the past.. when can i stop depressing about the lost of him!! I hate myself.. I have no right to hate him cos i only can blame myself for not cherishing him.. I am still in love with him...

I was listening to JI DE by ah mei.. and i find the lyrics are so true about me and nengwei.. Hais.. really miss him so much.. and i am yearning to forget him.. cos i wanna stop crying about him..

Who can come and bring me away from these sufferings?? I am driving crazy soon!!

I cant concentrate on my studies at all!!

How i wished there is a piano infront of me.. and i can play it freely and expressed my feelings on the piano.. music is the the only thing that can make me feel free and comfortable..

I wanna learn the bella's lullaby in the twilight.. It is my favourite piece!!

I wanna cut short my hair too.. I hope he would be back with me again.. but this dream seems so far from me.. hais

Let me go..

2009-05-23T23:35:00.000-07:00

You made me fall in love with you.. You made me believe love again, but now? you break my heart with your both hands.. What is the point of falling in love again and again? I love you, i dont wanna let you go, but you doesnt seems to understand what i want.. I wanna be with you but it would never happen anymore..

The memories we had, was so much fun and i cant bear to forget.. But since we are no longer together.. let me go.. Let me forget you, forget the past that we had.. Forget everything that involve you.. I dont wanna get hurt anymore.. I dont wished to hate you too.. Let me go..

Love someone, doesnt mean have to have him by your side.. As long as you know he is doing well in life, you would be contented le.. Like me now.. I see you doing well, i am happy already.. I wanna run far away from you, it doesnt mean i dont love you.. I love you, But i wan you to be happy and find someone better..

We had end our love story, go on and find a new one.. And i hope that would be your true love.. A true love who can give you the things you wants and wished.. I am not a good gf.. I am just nothing to you.. I will miss you, but since missing you doesnt bring you back to me, then i would just hope i can forget you asap and would not be an obsticles in your life..

I love you, but i want you to be happy.. feeling depressed and lost is how i am feeling now.. putting a fake smile in front of you, hope you would move on.. missing you..

huiimiin..

I made a mistake

2009-05-23T05:24:00.000-07:00

I have made a mistake of letting someone i love go..

From the day we know each other until now, he have never failed to my my life happening and happy.. I felt the days we had passed so fast that it have now come to an end.. It is very hard for me to accept the fact and i am now depressed over the lost of him..

I could still remenber deeply the first day i met him, he was wearing all red.. when i first saw him, i was pretty surprise as i was shocked to see a person like a red packet when chinese new year is already over.. I was wearing a white dress, grey jacket, a pair of sunglasses and a pair of black platform heels.. I would never forget that day.. That day was the happiest day i had ever..

We went to the cathy and watch a movie "hotel for dogs".. It was a nice movie and i could still remenber during the movie, nengwei like never even move until.. SOOOoo Still!! WOW!! The movie was funny and i was laughing in the movie.. After the movie, we went to Plaza Singapura the Hong kong cafe, and i ordered a chicken chop rice and 2 cups of yuan yang.. (Yuan Yang is a combination of coffee and tea, it was a perfect mix) He doesnt want to get anything as he said he was full.. After eating, we went up to the arcade to have some fun with the games there.. After the games, we decided to go and meet weilin at far east, so i told nengwei that i would walk there and he take bike there. But somehow he dont know the way there, and i was hesitating about riding his bike as i am wearing a dress! After some serious thinking, i took up the challenged and had a ride on his bike with a dress! I think i must be crazy to do that on that day..

When we reached far east, it was pretty hard for me to get down the bike and i was blushing cos i am shy to get down the bike.. I dont wan people to see until the things that they shouldn see.. After that we accompany weilin to the salon to have her hair perm.. It would be a long process so we went to marina barrage!! WooHoo!! so happy!! we went there and had some fun.. It has been a long time i never felt this way le..

Now i think back on the memories we had, i really miss him.. I miss his blurred smile. I miss his mehx mehx. I miss him calling me baby. I really miss him. But everything have come to an end that nth can be done to reverse everthing to the starting point..

I dont mind that he is not a good bf cos i am not a good gf. I dont mind he have no time managment cos 24hrs a day is not enough for everyone to do their things.. I just wished that time can just freeze at the happy moment that we had when we are together..

But everything is too late..

Why am i doing the same mistake again and again? Why i cant just change overnight for the sake of him?? Blaming myself now doesnt bring him back to me.. What i could now is to forget him asap and dont make it affect my upcoming exams.. But i really miss him alot alot..

I sprain my ankle in the morning outside compass point the starbucks there the stairs, i was walking and thinking about me and nengwei and i fell.. Ming da was nice to be there for me, but i couldn get up at first and sat there for a while. Ming da asked, what was i thinking? I replied that i was thinking about nengwei.. Ming da looked at me with a sigh.. At that moment i wanna cry cos my ankle is really very very painful and the pain is unbearable, but i still looked at ming da with a smile and i told him that i am fine. He helped me up and we walked slowly to my association.. What was i doing? Why cant i just cry it out? Why must i act strong when i am not? Why must i keep on lying to myself? I Hated myself becos of nengwei..

What i want is just a simple bf who love me, be there for me when i need him, thats all.. But why cant my wish come true? I know i am still living in the phobia of jerel's past.. I really wanna start a new with nengwei, but he doesnt understand.. I hope that he would walked it through with me, but he doesnt seems to understand.. When can i cry out freely? When can i Find my true self?

I dont know.. I only know the evania now is no longer the joyful and hyper-active evania.. Now the evania have no soul in her and she wouldn understand anything now.. A blow after jerel is tough enough, now nengwei.. I am just a empty shell without the will to live.. Miissiing him..

huiimiin

I choose to let him go..

2009-05-17T20:14:00.000-07:00

I choose to let nengwei go cos i dont wanna hold back his future becos of me.. Although i am willing to walk out of the box for his sake but i am still afraid that i would hurt him.. I do miss him, but things should come to an end already.. I rather suffer then seeing him struggling.. I felt hurt to see him so poor thing..

I miss calling him baby, nana de, and also qin ai de.. His image in me is so blur that ii think i can easily forget him.. but i am still struggling cos his name is always in my daily topic.. My nu er miss him too.. she miss her daddy that would always side her whenever i scold her.. I miss his laughing, his face, his warm hand whenever he wanna hold my hand.. But everything should come to an end..

What i wanna do now is concentrate on my studies and my exams now.. I MUST GET GOOD GRADES FOR MY BIOSCIENCE AND NURSING STUDIES!! I cant fail.. I will pull through this difficult time de.. Missing him everyday but life still goes on.. I will not regret making this decision..

love love
huiimiin<3

i Dont know what i was doing is it right a nt?

2009-05-16T05:46:00.000-07:00

Relationship should come abit later in my life, i think.. I would only start if i am really really ready for one to prevent hurting anyone now.. I love my baby nengwei very much, but somehow i am not treating him good.. i felt gulity for not being a good gf.. I am a bad gf who doesnt wanna hold his hands, kiss him, and hug him.. I would love to, but with the phobia i had when i was with jerel, i am afraid that things would happen again.. nengwei is a nice and close to perfect type of guy.. whoever be with him, would be very fortunate.. But unfortunatly i am not that girl who deserve his love and understanding towards me.. I love him.. hais...

Today is my phrase test for vitals signs and i did pretty well in the test.. And i PASS!! i saw my mummy in the phrase test today and it was sad that i didnt got her as my teacher for my test.. but instead i got mr edmund.. he was a nice teacher and was pretty nice along the test..

After that i went for drama.. and i was norminated for secretary:) Woohoo~ drama commitee member:) looking forward in working with the director tony quek in future:)

I miss nengwei but life still goes on each day..

love love<3
huiimiin

Can i really put down the past?

2009-05-10T20:13:00.000-07:00

I find myself not my real self today.. After i seen the things, i just hated him so much that i wanna kill myself right away.. Why he wanna appear in my life again? Why he wanna Show me where he live again?

Why he wanna let me know where he live?? I really dont want wanna know.. He hAve already ruin my life once, i wouldn let him ruin my life again.. Although my baby is not as good as him, but i enjoy being with him cos i felt more carefree:) Not like when i was with him, i have to suffered so much.. I just want my life to be better from now onwards..

My life is doing fine without him.. although sometimes i would still look back at the time when we are together.. The things that we had gone through is so much, that it is hard to forget.. Now We have already gone seperate ways and i believe we are doing fine without each other..

What have past, are meant to be the past and look forward in life.. I am looking forward to my future.. I wanna be a forensic pathologist!! woohoo~ hopefully i wouldn see him.. hahas:)

Missing my baby now.. he is having his guard duty now.. poor thing.. miss him much.. Love you<3

love love,
huiimiin<3

My laogong became my daughter:)

2009-05-10T07:08:00.000-07:00

Hahas:) angelia was my laogong and ended become my daughter:) now me and nengwei got a daughter le:) hahas:) but it seems weird.. yupp.. yesterday went to meet my baby with my daughter ans we had lots of fun at rivervale plaza.. And we manage to play badminton and basketball too:)

I didnt know that my baby basketball skills so good:) WooHoo~ but his badminton skills are also not bad la.. i miss my baby very much:) so manage to meet him again today:) Hmm.. but missing him is one thing:) but i still dont really like to hold his hand and etc.. i know we had been together for around one month plus le.. and it is not normal staying this way.. Met 2 of his friends today and was slacking at punggol plaza:)

After not long, my baby have to go back le.. cos he have to book in soon:) missing him is all i could say, and i dont know what to do also.. Haix.. My baby dont wanna go back, so naughty but no choice.. still have to go back..

Now we have a daughter le:) looking forward to more of our family outing with our daughter:)

love love<3
huiimiin

I love my qin ai de!!

2009-05-03T20:01:00.000-07:00

I LOVE MY QIN AI DE!!

SOOOOO miss my qin ai de now.. i wonder what is he doing.. miss him so much.. Now having life skill lessons and i am like making use of the time to use internet for my own leisure use:) hahas:) very naughty rite??

I am like damn bored now la.. Nothing to do so i write blog lo.. My school started the temperature taking exercise today le.. I believe all schools are starting this exercise today.. hmm.. my first lesson of the day is sports and wellness:) so me and cindy and my laogong play badminton:) So long never play le.. miss playing it:) hmm.. shall have more badminton session in the future cos i love playing badminton:) hahas:) but baby like to play basketball and always play with his friends only.. he wouldn care about me de.. sob sob..

I SLIM DOWN LE!! Baby you must jia you ok?? i want you to book out every week:) miss my baby so much!!

love love
huiimiin<3

BAck together!

2009-05-03T07:23:00.000-07:00

EEE!! after so much things, we are back together again:) I love my qin ai de.. Although i am so so so naughtty but he still love me the same as last time:) hee.. my dear dear is so understand but me?? So not understanding and so naughty..

Yesterday i ate so much ice cream, have been coughing the whole night and cant really sleep now.. even until now, i also keep on coughing non stop.. My dear dear is also sick but mine is worst than him.. i hope he would get well soon:)

I love my dear dear more than anything, but i dont think i deserve to have him cos he is so nice to me but me?? i so naughty!! hahas:)

i hope my dear dear get well soon:) love love my dear dear.. i willl not be naughty again le.. sob sob..

love love

huiimiin<3

I will understand de

2009-05-02T16:25:00.000-07:00

After so many things, everything goes back to the starting point.. I let go of my love le... I cant be so selfish.. He deserve someone better and i believe god had plans for him and me.. Although the time together is short, but i have so much fun with him:) we have been playing everyday:) Froom the first day we met until now, there are more happy memories than sad memories:) I never regret making this decision cos i know that there is someone out there waiting for him and it is not me..

I lied to him about somethiing.. i told him that i will be with another guy.. which is not true.. i believe that by telling hiim this, he would give up faster.. i dont wanna see him suffer le.. I just want him to be happy and carry on living.. i hope he can do it:) i believe that he can find someone better:) now i understand what do it mean by fang le ai..

I always like to say, loving someone doesnt mean have to be with him.. looking at him from a far corner, seeing that he is doing well.. you will feel contented.. all the best pal:) take care:)

love love,
huiimiin<3

Why two person fall in love, cannt be together?

2009-05-01T17:17:00.000-07:00

"Why two person fall in love cannt be together?" this sentence i have repeating asking myself for years and i still dont know wat is the answer..

Why every love story have a good begining and a sad ending? To me, the good begining is the way how you met your partner and the sad ending is you two will be part, be it death or break up.. After relationship, couples get married, that is not an ending.. That is an Begining of another chapter in their love story.. Many girls wanted their love story to be like an fairytale, but it would never come true, cos there is no such thing as prince charming who would ride on a white horse and ridiing towards you and rescue from the evil witch or monster..

What i want in my relationship, is that my partner would understand my feelings.. After jerel, my life have a big change.. I have a phobia in relationship, being afraid that all guys would be like him.. Being nice in the starting and when time passed, the true self comes out.. and the nice image of him would just break in my heart..

Many of times, i tried to go into a relationship, but i still choose to give up first.. cos i know i cant take up the challenge to love someone at the moment.. The hurt that jerel left in me have not been healed and now another knife just stabbed into my heart again.. the feeling is terrible.. It is not what i want it to be..

Loving someone is easy.. But forgetting someone is hard.. the process is long and painful.. It maybe unbearable if your friends are not around to support you.. I could still remenber i just blame neng wei yesterday of choosing friends over me.. now i think back.. i could understand why he would do that, cos friends would follow you forever, but your partner will not.. I am also doing the same to neng wei, but he didnt complain anything.. He didnt say me for accompany my friends but not him.. Losing a good guy, maybe a lost.. but i believe he would find a better partner in future:) wishing him all the best in his life and hope that his future partner would cherish him well..

love love,
huiimiin<3

I finally give up le..

2009-05-01T01:43:00.000-07:00

Today i went to seng kang to meet neng wei and angela.. I felt happy to see neng wei cos i really miss him when he is in camp.. Bud somehow he disappoint me again.. Not long after the meetup, again he left to meet his friend and left me.. Meeting for a while a week once, i felt angry and sad and i finally want to give up le..

Neng wei could give up me for his friends, so i think he would feel happier with his friends then me.. To me, whatever he said in the past that he wants to see me everyday, i think those are lies! lies that make me love him deeper each day..

Every love story have a good begining, a sad ending.. And it goes the same to me and neng wei.. He never understand how i feel.. i miss him and love him, but he doesnt seems to understand.. I give up le.. maybe we are really not meant to be.. i rather feel sad now then later.. i really hope that he could find a gf soon:) wish him luck:)

If i he got a chance to see this blog post i want to tell him is...

Neng wei, the time together maybe short but i felt happy.. The fun and laughter we had together, i will never forget.. The things that we walked through together, i will also not forget.. although you choose your friends over me today, i am fine with it and agreed to your decision.. afterall friends are forever and relationship is just a temporary one.. i understand.. i hope you would find a better gf soon:) do take good care of yourself:) I love you.. i will always remenber you as the guy whom i always ask if your bike got tyre pon check a nt.. hahas:) if you still wanna contact me, i am ok with it.. take care:) lots of love... miss you:)

with love

huiimiin<3

I dont know whtat am i suppose to do?

2009-04-28T21:21:00.000-07:00

Hmm.. last sunday i had so much fun with my church friends as we went to walked up the mount faber:) woohoo~ so fun.. It was my first time up there.. Looking down at the city of singapore, it is so nice and i would recommend everyone to go there at least once.. Although the road was rather steep, but we still manage to go up slowly and also we had some amazing race:) And my group won the 2nd prize of a 80 dollar swenson voucher:) yipee:)

Think back, i could still remenber that me and jerel once said that we would go up to the mount faber together, but this didnt manage to come true.. thats was sad.. but it is ok.. i Think i have got over the break up le... hahas:) my life now is full of exciting and cheerful people around me and i wouldn be sad again:)

When i got back to school yesterday, i have been going round asking people if they are free to climb the mount faber this friday:) Wanna lose weight.. hahas.. unfortunately, no one is interested.. But nvm.. During my PE lessons, my teacher took the height and weight for us... OMG!! My nightmare has come!! I was so afraid to see my weight, and guess what? I lost weight!! woohoo~ so happy..

Now i am waiting for my qin ai de to take his weight le.. cos recently a rule has been set in his camp that if they dont lose weight, they cant book out.. poor thing.. Haix.. good luck my dear:)

with love,
huiimiin<3

My poor laogong...

2009-04-25T06:56:00.000-07:00

hmm.. I very busy lately that i cant even post up anything.. There is alot of things happened lately, and there are good and bad things.. But i would mention those bad things, i dont wanna spoil my mood:) hahas:)

I have been selected to join drama.. And there is an production at the end of this year and there is another musical drama production next year:) Hmm.. quite happy that i am in drama.. So today is the first session and i was having so much fun with everyone today and we were doing some training about acting.. I love those trainings cos it really helps us to improve our acting along the way:)

After that, i went to meet my Qin ai de!! so long nv see him le.. miss him much!! hmm.. his hair grew alittle le.. hmm.. thats is a good thing:) I miss him much and hope to see him everyday:)

Love love everyone:)

huiimiin<3

Lost sense of direction

2009-04-18T07:24:00.000-07:00

I miss nengwei very much and somehow becos of my stubborness i lost him.. I really dont know how to express myself to him.. I am feeling stress up and i have many slpless night. I really wished i could sleep forever and never wake up.. but i cant.. I know that there are many people out there that care about me and i cant be so selfish to do this..

Sometimes I do agree that i am quite stubborn, but i am really depressed at times and i would tend to keep things to myself and dont wanna let others to know about it.. bud sometimes he doesnt know about it...

I really love him and miss him very much when he is away in camp.. but he doesnt seems to understand my feelings for him... I have phobia in relationship and i dont have confident in relationship and i am trying to get back on my feets and trust guys again..

But everything is all too late.. regret now also no use.. only can miss him.. haix.. miss him.. In depression now..

feeling sad now,
huiimiin<3

Has been tiring this few days:)

2009-04-16T06:11:00.000-07:00

Hmm... enjoying lessons now and then.. and also getting used to the study life now.. I also wants to work very very hard for my exams that is coming in 6 weeks time:) time is running out.. And revision have to start now and prepare myself for exams and also the practical test in week 3 and 6:) VERY RUSH AND STRESSFUL!!

Ice breaking is still active in our class and until now, there is already 2 students quit nursing le.. That is pretty sad that they cant continue learning with the class.. It is really a pity.. My classmates are all very nice people and they are always smiling:) hahas:) that is a good thing cos it is the right learning attitude:)

I miss qin ai de as he is in camp now:) cant wait to tml when he would book out of camp:) hahas:) cant wait:) Next monday my bioscience teacher extend lessons to 6pm and after that i got dragon boat training.. TIRING!! but never mind..

hope tomorrow would be a better day for me:)

love love,
huiimiin<3

2nd day at school:)

2009-04-14T05:06:00.000-07:00

Hahas:) today is the 2nd day at school.. Everything is still going fine and ice breaking still going on in the class, getting to know each other:) bud sad to say there is a girl in our class have become very famous and everyone is avoiding her if can.. I believe she must be hurt now.. haix.. cos she have been quite noisy and irritating at times and everyone cant simply cant stand her.. she goes round commenting and saying things to about each other.. ARGH!! just one word to describe and that is IRRITATING!! hahas:)

Well as i was saying about that guy yesterday, that button to the top? hahas:) hmm.. manage to have an interview with him today:) and he is really a nice guy:) hahas.. I asked him why would he button all the way up and he said that he is too used to doing that:) and i admire his courage too.. if it were me, i would felt weird and i will feel paiseh also cos i am the odd one out.. hahas:) before interacting with him, i thought he is a guy who is very quiet and emo.. bud after the interacting with him, i felt that he is an interesting guy who is outgoing and comfortable to talk to:) hahas:)

My class have all sort of people:) got muscians, got emo kid, got irritating girl, got a look nerdy but nice guy and also a middle aged man:) hahas:) but i really still miss my JN0701F hahas:) i miss jovian, kenny, ariff and also vic:) with them around, our class will never feel bored:) hahas:) but this class also not bad la:) yupp:)

There is CCA fair today and i have joined bridge leader, CE Ambassador club and also dragon boat:) woohoo~ i love sea sports!! hahas:) lessons will commence tml and looking forward to lessons although i know them all.. yupp.. hope that the teachers will be fine:) looking forward to my everyday in school with my lovely classmates...

love love everyone<3

love love,
huiimiin<3

Started school today.. It is a brand new school term!!

2009-04-13T04:29:00.000-07:00

WooHoo~ I heard the school bells are ringing today and it is time for school!! so happy that i can start school now.. It has been so long already.. i really miss school so much.. Being the first day of school, to me it is a brand new start.. I love being in school cos it is where i felt that it is where i belong..

First day of school, meet new classmates and also meet new teachers around.. Today we did some ice breaking games and also some team building games too:) We had so much fun in playing the ice breaking games and so on.. thats so fun:) after lunch it is time for the team building games:) we have to guess the place that the clue was saying, and i have answer the places for all of them and brought them to the next station:) hahas:) and our class comes in the 4th place in the team building game:) Way to go guy:) hahas:) school would end early for today and tml only.. and from wednesday onwards, lessons as usual and we have to study until 5 or 6pm everyday.. SIAN!! last time friday ended class early de lo.. haix.. now time change le.. so bad de..

My class have 46 people.. i really hope that future to come, the people in the class will not go lesser.. hahas:) oh ya:) i have something to share:) my class have a toot toot guy... he button his shirt to to top and look very nerdy.. i dont know if he done this is becos he wanna follow up the trend or he is really nerdy.. hahas:) next time i shall upload the photo of him.. hahas:) In my class majority of the people here are all either malay or indian.. very few chinese as usual.. haix.. only have 6 chinese in my class.. sad.. but nvm.. although my class have a very irritating girl, bud it is ok.. she can make the class hyper active can already:) hahas:) looking forward in going school everyday:) miss school:)

love love,

huiimiin<3

I will always remenber on this day last year:)

2009-04-11T01:21:00.000-07:00

On this day last year, is the start of me and jerel's relationship.. I could still remenber that i keep on saying he is cute when he came to visit me at the hospital with a japanese rice set. I cant forget the face of his.. And times go by, we were together before 12midnight so our anniversary falls on the 11th..

The memories of me and him is hard for me to forget cos the hurt that he left in my heart is so deep that i cant even accept anyone now.. I hate the things that he done to me, bud afterall i am glad that he found his own happiness now and i really hope he would last with that girl.. I am still trying my very best to accept guys who are interested in me bud somehow i am hurting them again and again cos i have been rejecting them repeatingly.. i really felt sad and guilty towards them and i hope they would understand why i am doing this..

I am sorry.. Beside saying sorry i really dont know what to do le.. Still trying to get out of the phobia.. hope i can do it!! waiting for my prince charming to bring me out of this suffering..

with love,

huiimiin<3

I dont know what he wants from me!!

2009-04-08T20:12:00.000-07:00

I rejected someone today.. and actually it was all the while i have been telling him that i dont wants to be with him.. For me, i cant stand being with someone who is dirty and disgusting.. I understand that there are some gestures which is avoidable, but at least try not to do it in the public.. thinking now, just made me wanna vomit.. I dont know what he wants from me, or what he likes about me?? I am not a good girl at all, then y would he fall for me?? I dont understand.. i have someone that i like now.. but he doesnt want to give up.. i cant stand him at all.. i expect that he would go and find others, but he just refused.. I dont know what to do with him..

Today i whole day was waiting for my qin ai de to message me.. when i received his message, i jumped for joy.. But alex was not happy that i keep on mentioning my qin ai de in front of him.. he has been giving a black face as if i owe him alot alot of things.. Haix.. i love my qin ai de and i miss him cos he is in army now.. then when i receive his msg i jumped for joy, it is wrong?? I dont think so lo.. Alex seriously is driving me mad... making me piss off everyday and i dont know what to do with him.. he seems he like dislike my qin ai de so much that i dont know what to do with him.. haix.. stress!! One is my friend, one is my qin ai de.. how can i pacify both sides at the same time and furthermore i dont even have any feelings for alex at all..

I really hope that someone would show me the way of how to reject a guy without hurting him and also help him to be back on his feets again?? I hate this triangle love relationship.. i just wants to be love by someone and love one person only.. is it very hard?? if it is very hard then i rather be single and not love anyone else.. cos i dont understand what is love all about..

feeling stress up and tired!! HELP NEEDED URGENTLY!!

love love<3
huiimiin

Have so much fun today..

2009-04-07T05:20:00.001-07:00

I could remenber on this day last year, we had a gathering of som e of my secondary school friends:) we meet up and have some fun together:) We had so much fun that day.. although it is just a few hours, bud we really enjoyed ourself very much:) I will never forget that day:) Now all of us are busy with our own things, we doesnt have time for each other le.. really wonder when can we meet up and have fun together again:) missing the olden days in school.. playing, studying together, the things that we do together.. really miss it so much.. how i wished time can return back to the school times we had when we are together:) miss them much)

Today we had so much fun under the sun:) Me and alex went to east coast park in the morning and actually regina is coming de.. bud she overslept and so we went there ourself:) When we reached there, i just remenber the memories of me and neng wei.. I just happen to remenber the memories we had here:) we had so much fun:) But he is not here with me today, it is alex who is with me today.. We went on to rent a bicycle and the person is good enough to give us 3hrs at 6 dollars per person.. So good!! hahas:) we cycle everywhere and until 11plus we went to the mac there to have our lunch and after that, we went to play some games.. We went to play the catch the toys game:) so i caught a toy with just a DOLLAR!! wow!! i think i very good at catching lehx.. hahas:) the other i just use 2 dollars to catch a big tweenty bird, and this time i just use a dollar!! wow!! so shocked!!

After finish cycling, we went to take cab to tampines mall to meet my darling, regina:) I was suppose to meet her at 2pm:) bud she is late.. she reached pasir ris MRT at 1.58pm.. WOW!! Powerful lehx!! hahas:) while waiting for her, we went to the arcade to play some games.. After her arrival, we went to ajisen to eat lunch.. She eat lunch then me and alex had drinkks:) Looking at the food:) i just give into temptation and order a plate of ebi fry.. only 3pcs only.. i give my darling regina a pcs and had the remaining two of them to myself.. hahas:) alex cant eat cos he had alot of ucler in his mouth.. poor thing..

After eating, we went to walk around and we also went to the toilet and took some pictures there:) hahas:) i love to take photo!! WooHoo~ hahas:) after that we went to mac to eat ice cream.. MY FAVOURITE!! hahas:) not long after we finish, Regina went home for dinner and me and alex walked home too:)

I have a fun day today, bud i am sad at the same time.. cos today is neng wei first day of army.. poor thing.. I am missing him... my qin ai de:) haix...

*My new toy:)

* Alex's side view..

*Does he look good in this photo??

*His nerdy look....

*Me and alex:)

*Staring in the photo.. regina look serious.. SCARY!!

*Me and my Darling:) iloveyou<3

*Say cheese:)

*Forceful Smile.. Hee:)

*Lets take more photos:)

*We love this pic:) nice nice:)

love love<3

huiimiin

Time passed so fast...

2009-04-06T16:39:00.000-07:00

Time passed pretty fast, and now then i realise that jerel have left me for 4 mths le.. 4mths is a long period of time, but my heart still feel hurt when comes to relationship, so thats is why i dont want to go into any relationship.. I dont want to hurt others and wait for the right one to come..

Although during this period, i got fall in love with some guys.. but dont think i want to go into a relationship.. it is too hurtful le.. What is love about?? i thought love is all about loving each other heartfully, caring for each other, be there for him, support him in whatever things he wants to do? I dont know.. I dont know what is love at all, so i cant love anyone.

If one day, there is a guy who can actually touched me.. I think i will just give in to temptation.. But at the moment dont have any lehx.. sad.. haix..

School starting next week le:) woohoo~ i miss school so much, love school!! looking forward to my everyday:)

love love<3
huiimiin

REGRET!!

2009-04-01T20:43:00.000-07:00

I regretted not telling him i love you.. To me, nothing is forever.. DOnt say the word forever unless you know the future:) I wanna cry le.. Bud what i can do now is to regret and nothing else i can do... He may not be the one for my life.. Bud i really love him alot..

Why am i always holding back and keep in from him, until now there is no more chance to say le then regret?? I am always doing the wrong things at the wrong time.. What is love?? I really wanna cry out loud and tell him i really love him.. I really hate the feeling now..

Trying to get over the hurt now and move on again.. What is the point of loving someone when i cant even express my feelings at the right time??? Waiting for the right one to come now.. yesterday went to pray and one of the fortunate teller tell me that my mr right is coming in may or june this year.. i Dont know who is it.. bud i donnt know if i should be looking forward to it a nt?? i wannt to rest well now only.. i wanna be healed from this hurt soon.. Missing him..

love love<3
huiimiin

What a fun day we had:)

2009-03-29T20:20:00.000-07:00

Hmm.. it has been a long time ever since i last blog.. Busy with my own stuff, falling sick, going for classes, reading my books and last but not least, hanging around in the library:) Been finishing reading a book in two days, then after i finish the book, i move on to the others.. haix.. boring life.. i wanna start school ASAP!!

Today i went out with alex in the morning to church.. Fun seeing everyone around again, and also i would always look forward to see him too:) hahas:) After service i went to expo hall 4 to look for shirley and cheryl.. so long never see them le.. i missed everyone who i worked with in the "safety starts with me" roadshow.. was having so much fun back then... really miss them.. Hope to meet up with them soon:)

After that, we headed down to bugis to meet my darling, regina:) Miss her so much.. her jack took up most of her time, hardly seeing her around le.. miss her:) Went to her shop to do manicure:) At the same time also can see her:) FINALLY, her jack let her have a day off to meet me.. hahas:) After doing manicure, i left to bugis junction to shop around waiting for time to past for regina to finish work:)

After she finish work, we went to eat steamboat:) while waiting for ivan, we started the steamboat first:) Not long after we started, ivan reach le and it is our first time meeting him.. WOW!! he is really tall.. We had so much fun eating there and the waiter there is afraid of me too due to some reasons.. hahas:) damn funny..

It has been so long i didnt laugh and enjoy so much le ever since jerel left.. I have already move on le.. i have started to forget the past and move on, and i am enjoying life now.. waitiing for the right one to come..

love love,
huiimiin<3

Many things have happen..

2009-03-19T21:45:00.000-07:00

13 march 2009 (Friday)

Failed my BTT again.. dont know izzit becos it is the friday the 13th.. sad and stress.. Going to take up a test date soon..

15th March 2009 (Sunday)

Went to alex's church and many of them mistaken me as his gf when i am not.. OMG!! I am single bud not available.. And i saw a guy look alike with that guy who brought me to see stars.. Really miss him very much now..

17 March 2009 (tuesday)

Alex brought me many things and we went out as a group to various places and at last we had dinner at fish and Co at tampines mall.. enjoyed ourself very much and i love my carebear too:)

19 March 2009 (thursday)

Went to tampines mall for lunch.. Me and alex went to swenson for lunch and we ate very full there.. and headed to do some shopping.. and after that we went to play the arcade a while and headed home..

20 March 2009 (friday)

With alex now in the library, here i am writing my blog and he is beside me slping.. hahas.. too tired le.. plans for tonight is i am having lessions at sengkang this evening.. sad.. stress bud still have to go.. haix.. shall write again soon:)

love love<3

It is really time to put everything down..

2009-03-09T07:34:00.000-07:00

Jerel have left me for about 3mths plus le.. But i still have the hatred in me and i have been rejecting guys who are interested me during this period of time.. I cant accept any guys becos i am afraid that all the guys would be the same as jerel.. haix..

I really wished i could fall in love again, but i dont know y, i just dont have the feeling i have before.. i wan to be like a normal woman who would be loved by their partner.. But with this problem, i cant make myself falling in love again.. some of the guys who know about me and jerel, just hate jerel for what he done, but somehow i also felt that i also have to be responsible for this breakup cos everything takes two hands to clap.. so even if a breakup, both parties have done something wrong thats why it would lead to a breakup.. i should have stop blaming jerel for it.. Bud somehow, i just felt sad, angry and regret.. Sad becos he never understand how i feel. Angry becos of what he done to me all the while and what he did on the day we breakup. Regret is not knowing the problem early and save the situation early.. It is all too late to say it now..

I have always say i dont love him anymore and i have got over it le.. but actually, tears would still roll down my cheeks when me and my friends talked about him.. I dont know why my tears would still roll down even though i have put him down.. Sometimes i would still remenber the first day we met and the things we done together.. bud it is all the past.. I have really love him deeply once before.. bud it is all too late..

It is really time to put everything down... It is time to stop hating him.. I WANNA BREAKDOWN LE!!! who would be there for me??

Rain Rain go away, come again another day

2009-03-07T15:03:00.000-08:00

Today keep on raining heavily and the weather turn cold.. Didnt do do anything much today.. I was like at home most of the time.. Until ard 3 plus then we headed down to IKEA and GIANT(my fav hangout, just kidding)..

The rain was really big when we left our hse, poor daddy and mummy just washed the car only and it started raining.. that was sad.. The rain was pretty big and we have some difficulties going to our car.. so we waited a while before approaching our car.. Daddy and mummy shared the same umbrealla (how sweet:) wOoHoO~) hahas:) bud little did we expected that the umbrella just happened to overturn.. hahas:) it was so funny that all of us burst into laughter.. Their umbrella is the strongest among us and yet this thing happen.. so funny..

After all of us get into the car, we headed to ikea first cos it is still raining and there isnt any shelter at giant.. when we reached ikea, we saw alot of people there:) probably it is becos it is a weekend:) hee:) The first thing we do is, buy the curry puff and i brought the ice cream:) Hmm.. Yummy!! we shopped around and me and my sister, eda is interested in alot of furnitures for our room, bud daddy put them on KIV.. thats sad.. After finish shopping, we went to get our hotdog bread:) WooHoo~ eating again:) hahas.. we brought a set of the hotdog bread and 2 other individual hotdog bread.. the drink we are able to refill so no need buy so many set..

After finishing eating, we headed down to giant to buy some stuff and left for home.. was pretty tired but have brought alot of things to eat:) WooHoo~ i can make my cheeze bread again lo.. yeah:)

i had a great fun today, cos it is once again family day:) love love everyone:)

love love,
huiimiin<3

Hmm.. I have a great time today:)

2009-03-05T16:03:00.000-08:00

Hmm.. today i have a fun day and i have also enjoyed myself very much. We had a mahjong session in the morning at han qin hse:) WOW!! han qin is like damn pro la!! keep on 5 tai de!! sob sob.. make me and the others lose to him.. sad sad..

After the mahjong session, i have headed down to Bugis to meet Weilin there to shop for clothing and see other stuff:) When i reached there, weilin was saying that later if we could go down to Roy's chicken rice stall to have dinner:) I said yes.. so our plan after bugis is go Roy's chicken rice stall:) But in the mean time, weilin felt hungry and want to grab some food to bite:) so we went to the bugis street to look for some snacks to bite:) When we reached there, there are some shops there are renovating:) hmm:) there would be a new look coming for bugis:) WOoHoO~ hahas:) we went to there and found that there isnt any nice snacks to bite, so ended up we went to buy a cup of sugar cane to drink and continue with our shopping plan:) Shop for very long and weilin brought 2 sets of top and i have brought only one set which is the Kimono:) hee:) I dont have that type of clothing so just brought one lo:) After buying finish those clothing, christine came and join us. And we went to bugis junction to shop further and i said that i want to go and shop for heels:) so they went with me and we went to shop for heels but there dont have my size. so ended up i have made a reserve at the central shopping centre:) After the shopping, Finally we are heading down to Roy's chicken rice stall:)

When we reached there, we could see the chicken is so smooth and nice and i cant stop praising about the chilli they had:) It is so nice:) we order a half chicken, vegetables and also the Tofu:) The chicken is so smooth and all of us was engrossed with the chicken:) The Tofu is also nice, tender, and it is steamed:) so it is healthy and if you eat it with their personal sauce, WOW!! It is just so nice that you would want to eat all up:) Overall, with the rate of 5 stars, i would give them 3 star cos of the chicken is smooth and nice, the tofu is unique and i love it and the chilli is nice and i love it very much:) There is always a saying that, good chicken rice lies on the chilli:) and i believe it:) All the best to you roy! Way to GO! WOoHoO~

Before Consuming:

After Consuming:

Hahas:) very Big difference right:) it means that it very nice and shoud try:)

love love,
huiimiin<3

2009-03-04T15:12:00.000-08:00

Hmm.. went out with han qin to sata for my medical checkup today. The doctor there was like so no standard de.. he doesnt seems like he know how to draw blood and he poke me twice before he could draw my blood so piss with the doctor lo.. make my so painful.. sob sob..

After the medical checkup, we headed down to AMK jubilee to watch UNDERWORLD: The Rise Of The lycans.. this is the second time i am watching it le.. bud nvm la.. pei him watch lo:) I was wondering i watch the movie twice, i not bored mehx? hmm.. i dont know.. Bud the movie is nice. i like vampires movie.. hmm.. if one day i could become a vampire, how good it would be? hahas:) i must be crazy to say that:) bud i am serious about it:)

After the movie, we are suppose to have a mahjong session de, bud ended brian and kai cant turn up so we cancelled it and we both headed home to sleep:) just nice it started raining and it is a good time to sleep:) stayed at home the rest of the day to watch my hong kong series:) hmm.. what a fun day i had today:)

love love<3
huiimiin

More photos from the roadshow

2009-03-04T04:37:00.000-08:00

Went to for threading, it hurts!

2009-03-02T19:29:00.000-08:00

Hmm.. Today is a fun day afterall and i have lunch with jinzi in the afternoon. we went to pasta mania at funan the IT mall and again, i ordered my apple crumble.. hahas:) have been craving for apple crumble lately and really enjoy eating it very much:) hahas:) it is really nice. and most recommended by me:)

Hmm.. after eating, i headed to penisula for my eyebrown threading:) it has been a long time ever since i have undergo the threading.. At there the service is really good and nice and it is very cheap 8dollars only, really most recommended by me:) if you go other place, it cost ard 10plus like that and not nice de.. Too long never come liao, very PAINFUL!! sob sob.. After the session, i actually wanna go to do my manicure de, bud then i thought again, i dunno where to do then would be the best so i give up the thought of going manicure and headed back to tamp mall and brought a pair of slippers cos my slippers spoiling soon.. headed to meet joel a while then back to my home sweet home:)

slping early:) good nite:) sweet dreams:)

love love,

huimin:)

Starting the day right:)

2009-03-01T18:08:00.000-08:00

Hmm.. Many of you may think that starting the day right means, having proper breakfast in the morning, and go on and greet everyone you meet in your workplace or school. But to me, i dont think it this way. I think it in a way that i must start the day right with the right attitude. This was told to me by my secondary school principle, and i suddenly just thought of this and thought of using this to start my blog post today... hahas..

Today i went to church in the morning together with joel. When i reached there, i was glad that joel is walking well despite of the wound he had on his toe. POor thing.. Today is the first sunday of lent. When i heard that it is the first sunday of lent, it reminds me that i have very long never been to church and i could also remenber how many lents i have missed. I felt guilty. I felt lost, bud i know that god would always show me the way to him, this i am sure.

During mass, There are many children crying, shouting and whinning and this just remind me that i must be a good parent in future and i must displine my children well. although i dont have much confidence in this, bud i could give it a try in future?? I saw my junior, dawn, at mass and she is leading the whole church for the singing of the palm and joel said that she look older than me. WOW! got so old ma?? I dont know, and joel said that i look like a 16yr old girl. Hmm.. when i heard about this comment, should i be happy or should i be angry? I dont know how to response bud just smile at him.

After mass. joel headed home and so am i. I went home and do somethings, and headed out to downtown east with han qin. We went to Kbox together to sing.. WOoHOo~ finally got chance to go sing le.. Yippee!! so happy, and looking forward to it. Bud Opps.. I was suppose to meet him at 1.30 at my hse downstairs bud due to some reason i am late bud he still wait for me downstairs:) really nice person:)

Went over to sing k and then i realise he have a good voice. His singing is great and i would recommend him to go for the superstar compeition. hahas, bud he say dont want.. sad sad..

After singing k, we went to tamp mall to eat fish and co together.. Hmm.. it has been a long time, i never eat fish and co le. We order seafood platter for one, a penne mussels with garlic and somthing tat i cant remenber, A jungle freeze and clam chower soup:) YUMMY!! hahas.. really enjoy alot and we ate halfway then i realise we never take photo of the food we consume. OH NO!! too bad.. never mind, there is always another time. hahas..

After eating, we went to POPULAR to get some DIY materials and he headed to his camp wheras i headed to the NTUC to meet my family there to grab some daily things and headed home.

What a tiring day:) I find that my everyday is so happening with a bunch if good friends around me.. thanks everyone:) love love:)

love love,

huiimiin.

I am starting to miss everyone..

2009-02-27T05:56:00.000-08:00

It is the last day of the roadshow, i m like starting to miss everyone now. Although the time spend together is rather short but fate bring us all together. We really have enjoyed ourselves very much hanging around, talking, playing around and also have fun working together. But time just passed too fast, really wished that time could just stop there.

Today we start at 11.30am and we was all late.. Opps! But luckily we didnt got any scolding:) hee.. So we go get changed and start working.. WOoHOo~ During work, we all was like not really ready for work, but we are ready for FUN!! hahas.. we was all like slacking but only yao min is the only want who is the hard working one. We took turn for breaks and then resting most of the time. I was like giving out the flyers in a hyper way. I was like saying "Hi! promote safety!" then when sherly and yu yang was like learning to say it the same as me.. and i started laughing. Using that method, i was able to give out my flyers quickly.

we all manage to give out all the flyers in time of our target time:) We end the work will satisfied smile on our face, and was saying, finally it is over:) so happy:) after changing, it is time for us to say goodbye to one another. wilson and angeline went off, yu yang went to meet his friend, then left with me, sherly, cheryl, yao min and jeremy. So we decided to head for lunch together.

we went plaza singapura for lunch at xin wang hong kong cafe. Then we have lunch+dinner there. And i have took some pictures:)

After the meal, it is really time for us to part le. so yao ming and jeremy left, wheras we, sheryl and cheryl continue shopping and i was like a tai tai? shop so much like a tai tai.. hahas:) after everything, we parted..

hope to see them soon:) miss them so much.. sad sad..

with love,
huiimiin<3

more photos added:)

2009-02-26T15:12:00.001-08:00

*Taking a Pic with yao min:)
*Taking photo with my ex Senior:) SACIAN!!:)
*me and sheryl taking photo with yu yang:) i think he really look like construction worker:)

*taking photo with winson:)

*want to take a good photo with jeremy, bud this yao min come and disturb.. hmm:)

*finally can take a good photo with jeremy lo:)

*the nurses!! MISSY AR!! me and sheryl

*Lets have a fun shot:) posing for a good pic:)

*Me and cheryl

2009-02-26T04:44:00.000-08:00

* taking photo with a dutch girl:) not from our group de. she is giving out some travel flyers:)

*taking photo with the pirate:) also not from our group, jeremy's friend. wooHoo~ so qiao:)

*Trying on jeremy's construction outfit:) so big size!! it is like M size yet so big!!

*Me and sherly each took one different clothing and pose for a pic:)

*making fun around:)

*me and cheryl:)

*Me and sherly taking photo in the toilet:)

*posing for a pic:)

*taking photo of myself:) so zi lian:) hahas:)

*hmm.. yu yang is so tired.. poor thing..

Today is the first day of the roadshow:) WOohOo~ so happy:) bud have met some problem in the morning before i left the hse today.. so angry.. i cant find my black shoe in the morning and have took up alot of time just to find my pair of shoe.. so piss!! so i took a cab down to raffles place and it has cost me 15.40!! SO EXPENSIVE!! bud also bo bian.. haix..

When we reached there, we was like all together waiting for caryn and got our outfits:) most of us went to the toilet to change out:) when we came out from the toilets, looking at each other's outfit, we was like laughing at each other.. hahas.. and we carry on with our briefing and also we went to station the place we had to station:)

It was a fun day overall, taking photos, knowing new friends and also have fun:) we are lucky that we have been doing our job well and then we get to end work early:)

What a tiring day:) bud fun:) looking forward to tml:) more pictures will be uploaded:)

love love<3
huiimiin

Being too emo already!

2009-02-24T18:12:00.000-08:00

Today wa wa just happen to ask me.. why i suddenly become so emo? I really dont know.. after jerel left, i felt that my life has just changed and it is time to have a change too.. Maybe i have changed myself to be emo ba? i dont know.

To me, relationship is just a cycle, a cycle that we must learn to move on after every breakup. Love is nothing but a dream. I would always starts to wonder, does those people who is married found their partner they want for life? I dont know who can answer me this questions cos i see people getting divorced everyday.

What is true love? Why are we getting hurt in relationships and also getting to know the wrong person in life? Keep on getting wrong idea suffering in misery, really hurts us lots. But i know there are no such things as everlasting love. Cos no love is forever.

waiting for the right one:)

I enjoy my life now:)

2009-02-22T18:24:00.000-08:00

Although my life have some changes now, it is ok:) i must always look on the bright side in life:) I may grieve about the things that have happen, but i will not blame anyone. It is nobody fault in this type of situation.. I just have to learn my lesson and move on..

In everyday of our lifes, we would always learn something. And everyday we learn a different thing. Even how unhappy i maybe, life still continues and i must learn to be strong in handling those problems and learn to forget.. It maybe hard but i will still give it a try. Because i will never know what is the conclusion if i never try.

After every breakup, a new begining starts. After every sunset, there is always a new sunrise. It is just a part and parcel of life. There is nothing to be sad of or unhappy of. I am learning to be strong every single day of my life. Cherish my everyday and also cherish the time i had with my family and friends. Waking up in the morning, it is a brand new day again.. Dont live in my yesterday, but live in my today.

It is a life cycle of life. Learning everyday:)

love love,

huiimiin<3

Another theory again

2009-02-21T23:19:00.000-08:00

Hmm.. I am here to share another theory of life that i thought of.. I think after breaking up with someone, you tend to be like staying at a crossroad. Dont even know where to go and what to do. It really take a long time for someone to realize what they really need and wants in life..

For me, ever since jerel left, i dont think it is the end of my life. It is a new begining of my life chapter. Starting a new life chapter, makes me learn to look forward to my future and just leave the past as memories only. Although sometimes, i may think back at the times when we are together, the happy memories we had, bud it is all the past le.

My single life carrys on.. and i think i would wait for the right one to come.. I wanna concentrate on my studies first and not look at relationship le.. Relationship is too complicated and it is hard for me to understand now. I still have a long way in life for me to make my decisions. No hurry for relationships.

Enjoying life now with my friends around me, my Books, My DIY things and my family around me. I like my life now. I will only live in my present, not the past. Whatever have past, i would just let it past and look forward.

love love,
huiimiin<3

Hmm.. having a roadshow next week

2009-02-20T00:14:00.000-08:00

hmm.. what a long long day:) i went to orchard the shaw house in the morning to try out my nursing outfit for my "safety starts with me" roadshow.. WoOhOo~ hahas:) The nursing outfit looks not bad and it is very fitted.. regretted didnt take any photo of myself today, cos i look really look:) being thick skinned.. hee:)

After trying the outfits i also know a few new friends that i am working with together on the roadshow and they are all really nice people, i could say:) I am like looking forward to the roadshow!! hahas.. After the briefing with the person in charge, we went on with lunch together and before heading down for lunch, i just stopped by at isetan scotts to look for my ex colleagues to promote my things:) hahas.. And it was a sad thing that i have to go lunch with yao ming alone as the other girls need to head somewhere first.

So i went to have lunch with him. During the lunch session with him, he questioned me about my past experience as a nurse and the life in clinic and in the hospital.. hmm.. he was getting more interested as we chat about it.. *wondering what is he thinking* hahas:)

After lunch, we went to take MRT together and on the way, we met the girls again and headed down to raffles place together:) When we reach raffles place, we met another guy who is also joining us in the roadshow and he would be wearing the constrution worker uniform.. so funny:) initially when he tell me about it, i thought he is really working as a constrution worker, and everyone laughed at my foolishness.. Oh ok i admit i was a little silly about that thinking..

After another briefing with karen, we have all headed seperated ways and look forward in seeing each other on the roadshow:) so i headed home and then i am blogging:) maybe going out later or maybe would be getting some rest:) *yawn* so tired..

love love people:)

with love,
huiimiin

2009-02-19T15:59:00.000-08:00

Hmm.. Nowadays i really cant talking about our lovely girl here, caen.. she is growing everyday and look at her smile, it just happen to brighten up your day.. I am really happy to see another life have been born into this world and have brought so much laughter to us.. Thank you little caen..

Today me and shiyim brought her out, and she was so happy when we was entering the lift to go down. Looking at the smile on her face, i then know how much she love to go out. hahas.. so cute:) Everywhere we walked, there are always people stopping by and look at caen.. she have become an idol in everyone's eye. Everyone was commenting that she looks like a boy and she have very nice and bigs eyes. I do agree with it. hahas:)

We went to bishan, toa payoh and then back home. wow!! it had been a long day.. And she have been doing a lot of whining today too, As we were trying to remove that paper that she was holding in her hand. hahas.

I really want to thank god for bringing another little life on earth and have brought laughter to us:) really thank you:)

love you caen!! love love everyone:)

with love,
Huiimiin

Caen is so cute!!

2009-02-16T06:42:00.000-08:00

Today i left grandma hse in the morning and headed down to tamp library to do some reading.. When i reached there, i have finally found a book that i have been looking for a long time which is the " The Dracula by bram stocker"... looking for that book for a long long time le.. and was reading halfway and shiyim called..

So i head down to her hse to passed her some stuff and head down to town together.. And we were at there at lucky plaza to change some money.. yupp cos the exchange rate there is high.. After changing the money, we went to mac and have some food... and we have took some photo with caen and she is so cute.. She is playing with the fries and vegetable..

You can see through those photos how she look and also how happy she is playing with the fries and also the vegetable.. i also enjoy seeing her like this.. really hope to have a child like her so cute..

After eating, we went to Isetan scotts to get somethings and then head back to tamp.. I went to her shiyim's hse to look at the victorias secret bag.. after not long, i went back to grandma hse le.. had dinner there and head home not long after..

I miss alot of things bud somehow, i must tell myself to stop living in the past bud live in the present.. I am happy with my life now.. I dun need unnecessary things to interrupt my life now.. Although somehow i hope he can come back, bud i have lost hope in it le.. so i have give up le.. Jerel doesn worth my tears and also doesnt worth me waiting for.. i have suffered enough when with him.. time to let go..

with love,

huiimiin<3

I know what makes me keep walking le

2009-02-11T06:48:00.000-08:00

All along i have a question in me. which is why would people fall in love again and again despite of the hurts they encountered in life.. I have been always thinking why and what makes them do so.. But now? I finally got it.. Relationship is just the same as buying a new pair of shoes. When you first brought a new pair of shoes, you tend to get blisters. But despite the blisters you had, you keep on wearing it and carry on walking. Now then i know what makes me keep on walking.. It is the hurts that i have, made me stronger and also make me understand..

Different people have different theory in life.. In my life, I have been through a lot of things, and also seen alot. Bud somehow, i haven understand what went wrong.. Now i know le.. I wouldn want to make the same mistakes twice..

Although i may miss seeing stars with him, bud why must it be him only?? I can always see it with eugene? fabian? or maybe sean? it doesnt have to be him that i must go with. Life is so short and things happened and passed fast too.. so i must cherish every moment i had with my friends cos i would never know how long would these happy moments last..

When he left that day, i know we will never meet again.. Although i may regret tat i didnt know that the day would come so fast and didnt cherish it well, bud now i could only live in my memories of him and me with the stars up the sky. I could say is, it is time to let these memories passed on and stop thinking about it.. Thanks my that friend who made me realise that there are such beautifuls stars around. If there is a chance, i would definitely make a trip to aust to see the stars there.. Thanks..

Everyday is a brand new day, i will never live in my past le.. I will live in my present and my future only.. looking forward to my everyday.. And joel, please stop calling me snow white, i am not.. hahas.. take care friends.. love love<3

with love,
huiimiin<3

hmm.. everyone is busy with their own life now

2009-02-08T21:54:00.000-08:00

Hmm.. Finished another school course le.. and my friends are all going seperate ways from each other as they have their own plans for their future. And me, I am going back school in april. I have my own plans and it is very different frm others. Some of my friends have already started working in the hospital le.. And some wanted to further their studies.. Time just simply passed so fast.. two years have passed and it is time that we have our own life to carry on..

Everyone have their own lifes to carry on and also their own stress to cope. The definition of stress is " Any emotional, physical, social, economic or other factor that requires a response or change." Hmm.. there is alot of ways to relieve stress.. like; doing sports, doing something you like to do? hmm.. i dont know.. for me, i like to do art and craft and also see stars if possible.. hahas..

Haix.. life is so short and i would never know what would happen tomorrow. So i must cherish my everyday and also stay happy:) Woohoo.. talking rubbish again today.. sorry..

with love,
huiimiin<3

being in love<3

2009-02-07T06:14:00.000-08:00

What is love?? Is love a game? a game that there is always someone losing out? i dunno.. To me love is a commitment. A commitment that we must be serious about and cant lie about. I dunno hows think about love, they just take it as a game. I hate those people who doesnt take relationship seriously.. i really hope the right one would come..

I am in love with someone, bud somehow it doesnt mean i have to be with him. As long as he is happy, i would be happy also. Cos his smile brighten up my day. Nothing worth more than seeing his smile on his face.. I dun wanna be with anyone now cos me myself is not sure about my own feelings and also i dont wanna hurt anyone now.. there maybe people ard me who love me and care abt me, bud it is not that type of love that i am looking for in relationship.

Waiting for the right one to come, rather than hurting people now.. i am sorry.. sorry..

Hope everyone would understand the meaning of love one day..

with love,
huiimiin<3

Getting happier each day..:)

2009-02-06T22:03:00.000-08:00

Hmm.. I have learnt something new each day.. which is i should always look forward to the future, not look backwards into the past. I cant always stay in the past, must stay in the present and the future.

Many of times i would always think back of the memories we had together and the quarrels we had that always make us get closer in knowing one another. But sometimes, i think of those memories, it would only make us feel sad.. haiz.. I missed alot of things in the past and regretted that i didnt do it better.. But things are fated and we cant change the facts in the past that it had been done.. only can think we would do better in the future and try not to make the same mistake twice.

Nowadays i may tend to be a little emo bud i am ok.. I want to learn to be independent now as i have been through so much and it is time that i have learnt my lesson le.. And i will try not to make the same mistakes twice..

Last nite i went to the WLNY Coffee Bean outing at century Square... I so cute lo.. mistaken the starbucks as coffee bean.. * BANG WALL* hahas.. then i somehow find my way there with the help from shila.. hahas.. so scared.. when i reached there, there is fabian, david, sandy and also shila and her sister.. all of them are so easy going and nice to talk to.. But too bad.. didnt got the chance to see mei zhen and shiyim cos they came about 10 plus and i left le.. hmm.. looking forward to the next outing.. hmm..

huiiimiin<3

I failed le..

2009-02-05T03:08:00.000-08:00

I failed my driving test.. feeling down.. i really wonder if i were that bad in driving or izzit i am just nervous until i have forgotten everything.. haiz.. When i first got to know i failed, i called my dad first.. He didnt scold me but still give me money to apply for the test again.. feeling down but i am fortunate to have my family and friends to give me support to go for the test again.. really depressed about the failure of the test.. I will do better the next time de.. i know it..

hmm.. just reach home not long ago.. waiting for dinner to be served and then heading to tamp mall for coffee bean gathering with mei zhen, shiyim, fabian, sandy and others that i dunno.. yupp.. this would be the first time meeting them, looking forward to it.. I believe it would be a fun gathering afterall... yeah.. :)

hmm.. k la.. gtg.. take care peepss.. bye:)

with love,
huiimiin<3

WooHoo.. almost done..

2009-02-04T23:42:00.000-08:00

hmm.. the notebook for eugene and fabian is almost done.. so happy!! bud as for fabian's.. hmm.. Having alittle headache as in i dunno how to placed his name and the words together to make it nice.. haiz.. HEADACHE!! But i am very happy doing it.. hahas.. hope they will like it very much.. hmm.. let me show you some pictures of it..

Hmm.. i overall like the design for fabian.. cos i like the way i write and draw his name.. cos of my "A" hahas.. dotts rite?? I these few days also busy DIY my things.. bud that one dun have pictures.. bud eugene seen it and said me clever:) hahas.. dotts..

Yesterday we went to IKEA and also Giant and brought somethings... bud too bad.. there is nothing to buy for me to DIY.. hahas.. so sad.. Then after that, i went home for dinner and came out again to swimming with eugene at tamp safra.. I dun think i wanna go swimming with eugene le.. so weird de.. i rather go with gabriel.. he is better..:) hahas.. dotts..

Hmm.. going for my driving test later le.. so scared.. wish me good luck.. :)

take care people:) BYE!!

With love,

huiimiin<3

hmm.. now i know when will the stars be all out..

2009-02-02T00:44:00.000-08:00

Hmm.. went to see stars with my eugene love love yesterday.. When we reached there about 7plus, there isnt any stars bud enjoying the breezes.. Until about 8 plus onwards, stars slowly coming out and the sky is full of stars.. SO NICE!! It just look the same as i first looked the first time.. SO NICE!! bud somehow it is a different friend who accompany me this time..

Time passed very fast.. It is february le.. during this period time, so many things have happened.. How i hope, it is just a dream. A dream that can be forgotten easily.. Bud i know i must face the reality and move on.. Put the past behind me and move on.. No point looking back, cos it would never helps to forget..

Went back to school to see my teachers today.. HAIXX.. Need to train up for my sports and wellness test in april.. haixx... sad sad.. and my phrase test in april too.. i need to read up sooon.. I HAVE CONFIDENCE IN MYSELF!! hahas.. Missing school so much and soon i am returning back to school le.. cant wait to return.. Miss my books!!

After school today, i went to changi hosp to buy my dad's medicine.. my dad wanted me to buy for him cos i have staff discount.. haiz.. dotts.. but it is ok la.. on the way ma, so brought for him lo.. After that, i went to eastpoint POPULAR to shop for somethings for my DIY gifts for valentine's day.. I have still got more to improve on.. dunno what is wrong with blogger.. would upload the photos when i am done. eugene's is halfway done.. bud fabian's, i dunno where to place the name.. headache.. Then i also need to shop for more paper patterns for the others.. haiz..

Sob sob.. no one is interested to bowl with me.. so sad.. hmm.. hope someone would go with me one day.. and swimming too.. hahas.. boring day for me today.. hmm.. hope my tomorrow would be better!! ALL THE BEST TO EVERYONE AND MYSELF!! LOVE LOVE!! <3

With love,

MiinMiin<3

Happy Chinese new year everyone!

2009-01-29T05:09:00.001-08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!

hmm.. a brand new year le.. hmm.. Happy chinese new year everyone.. Tis year my chinese new year was a fun one as i have went to my grandma hse and i have played mahjong with my cousins and my elder sister. SO FUN!! My elder cousin so funny, he keep on ask us which number is he when playing with us.. so forgetful.. hahas.. And he was stunned when he sees me such a young age yet know how to play mahjong.. hahas.. really age gap.. hahas

Nowadays i am more to reading books and also knitting at home.. Hmm.. maybe catching movie alone one day.. there is so many movies coming out.. so i think i will catch it alone ba.. cause it is hard to find someone to accompany me to watch movie.. getting emo this few days.. haiz..

Today went to plaza sing the spotlight and brought some paper and would want to DIY something for eugene.. hmm.. it would be a suprise for him.. Now he is enjoying himself on the cruise.. wonder when is he coming back.. he say when he come back, he will tell me somethings.. wonder what he wanna tell me??

Things in life are subject to changes everyday. My everyday is so happening. Really hope the right one would come soon.. But i know this type of things cannt rush de.. so i will let time make the decision for me.

*Take care everyone.. And Smile always.. Love everyone always..

*love love,
HuiiMiin

hmm.. wondering where the stars all goes??

2009-01-25T04:43:00.000-08:00

Hmm.. fallen sick again!! haiz.. having on and off fever and also having flu.. cant stand the flu!! so irrritating.. but it is ok.. i will take good care of myself de..

Went out with eugene last nite to marine parade and also i suddenly wanna see stars like what i did with my another friend. He drove me to pasir ris park and suddenly i have those memories that i have with my another friend all just flashed back and i was staring into blank space. I was thinking about those memories we had and i really have a wonderful time with him.. will never forget it. When we reached there, there isnt any stars at all.. wonder where all the stars gone to.. thinking back now.. i really miss that day.. how i wish i could just stopped at that very moment with him and never move on.. together viewing the stars at the beach, so nice.. haiz.. bud i know, it would never happen.. really miss it so much..

hmm.. today woke up early in the morning and then we went to shop for the dinner things.. when we reached tamp mall. there is so many people there and everyone is squeezing.. OMG! it is so crowded. But still we manage to buy the things..

Just finished my dinner.. so full.. i think i must really go on a diet soon.. cos i am really fat le.. hahas.. later no guys wan me how?? hmm... dunno??

hmm.. after 12 midnight is chinese new year le.. so i hope that the new year would be more smooth for me and hope i could pass my exams with flying colours and hope everyone would stay healthy and wealthy all year round..

LOVE LOVE!!

HuiiMiin

Is there any right or wrong about this?

2009-01-22T06:48:00.000-08:00

What is your perception about fling and BG relationship?? To me fling is nothing to be afraid to be told of cos afterall people go into fling becos they dun wan to have any commitment. And i dun have any comment about it cos i find it is perfectly fine.

But as for BG relationship, i have some fears when i am talking about it. Guys are really basttardd when they are in relationship. i dun wanna have any relationship at the moment cos i am not ready and i cant put down my past yet. Jerel left a deep cut in my life.. hate him so much.. bud somehow the memories still linger in my life.. getting used to the life now and looking forward to the future..

Be it if he would come back a nt, i dun pin anymore hope le.. just getting used alone now.. hmm.. just hope that there would be accompany next time when i go see stars.. hahas..

Missing somethings in life, but also look forward to the future..

How to cope with the stress now??

2009-01-22T06:21:00.000-08:00

The day before, i went out with a friend to see stars at pasir ris park.. When we reached there, i was surprised with the things i saw.. The sky is full of stars and it is so beautiful.. I was told that in australia, the stars there are much more brighter and nicer there.. How i wish i could go there straight away and leave this place. But i know it is impossible..

Again yesterday, i ask the same frien out and we went to see stars again. But this time, the stars are not as much as the day before.. sad sad.. wonder where have they gone to.. the night was cold but with the accompany of my friend, it is warm again.. somehow or another, i felt that something is missing. I dunno what is that something which is missing.. after seeing the stars, my friend drove me home. on the way back, i suddenly felt like crying. But i hold back my tears. When i got home, i locked myself in my room and burst into tears. I dunno what am i crying about, but somehow i felt lost. Just cry myself to sleep.

Woke up in the morning, and i was having a high fever. Despite of the high fever, i still have to drag myself to work and study today. Walking to wherever i wanna go. from my hse to blk 470. Then from blk470 to tampines interchange. I felt that i must be crazy to walk under the hot sun like this today. Felt really depressed the whole day and was not socialable to everyone ard me as i only answer their questions with just a smile.

Friends were still partying at my place until now, and i just locked myself in the room blogging. Today, i went to see stars alone. Without my friend accompany's today, the feeling was quiet and lost. But it is ok, afterall at the end, i will be the one who is walking alone. walking alone on the way back to my car, somehow missed the jokes we had for the past 2 days.. bud getting used to be alone. I would really wanna thank my friend for bringing me to see the stars, cos i have never seen such beautifuls stars before.

Feeling stress up this few days becos of the pressure ard me. Pressure from my shop? Pressure from my studies? Pressure from my family and my peers ard.. Coping with the stress within me and looking forward to the future. I will never want to look back at the past le.. it would just make me breakdown into tears again. I dun wanna cry becos of guys le. Cos no guys worth woman's tears. Maybe staying single?? or would the right one come now and free me from the suffering i am facing now?? i dunno.. just hope that everything would go smoothly for me. *CHEERSS!!!

*happy also past one day, sad also past one day. Why not be happy instead and spent the day happily?? hahas.. i dunno??

*hmm.. hope i would get well soon cos i wanna enjoy those new year goodies next week de..

GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!! LOVE EVERYONE AND MYSELF TOO!!

with love,
HuiiMiin

went for movie..

2009-01-20T01:23:00.000-08:00

*hmm.. went movie with a friend today bud didnt really like to go out with him..

*we watched the movie " The haunting of Molly Hartley"..

*quite nice bud still, bored.. and would rather go alone next time if possible..

*after the movie, we went seperate ways and i went to mos burger.

*seating there alone, continue reading my book.. My " The last Man on the Moon"

*after a short while, thinking of walking home cos i am very fat and had gain alot of calories with the fries that i ate at the mos burger..

*while walking home, i saw there is a playground with a swing..

*so went playing the swing and seat there very long and hope that i am a small kid forever..

*not very sure going out later an nt.. bored to death soon..

*with love, Huiimiin

hmm.. chinese new year is coming

2009-01-18T20:12:00.000-08:00

*hmm.. next week monday is the first day of chinese new year le.. so happy can collect ang bao.. WOOHOO!! hahas.. i just had my hair cut and my hair looks sux.. regreted cutting my hair.. hope my hair grow faster so that i can be pretty again.. hee hee..

*hmm.. really hope time can passed faster and then i can start school soon.. i miss school..

*hmm.. my everyday is so happening.. hope that the bad days will be over soon..

*being single is so good now cos i have alot of freedom to myself now..

*Waiting for the right one to come and take me away from the world of cruelty..

*hmm.. just went tamp mall to shop for clothing, bud didnt see any suitable.. my friend said i look good with dress and wanna buy for me, bud i rejected the offer cos too expensive..

*with love,
MiinMiin<3

Looking forward to my everyday!!

2009-01-14T23:44:00.000-08:00

Hmm.. looking forward to my everyday, becos i know that my friends will always there for me when i need them. This few days i have been busy doing my own stuff and also Looking forward to school.. This few days i have been preparing myself for the new school term and i would want to score well for my exams.. I will prove to those people who looked down on me that i can do it if i want to.. No matter how hard it would be, i would do my best and put in my heart and soul to do the best that i could..

Getting used to being alone, doing everything alone, it makes me look like " AN EMO KID!!" Bud i am not a emo kid.. I am just wanting to be independent.. hmm.. cant even find someone to accompany me for high tea buffet.. as for this type of thing, i cant go alone.. cos wher got buffet is go alone de?? hahas.. it would be damn weird if i go high tea buffet alone at the hotel?? WEIRD>> People might think i am CRAZY?? hahas..

Hmm.. reunion dinner is just next sunday! OOooHhh.. It is CHINESE NEW YEAR AGAIN!! Cant wait to go around to get ANG PAO!! hahas.. and also go to out with friends to celebrate chinese new year.. this year also the same.. single for the chinese new year.. sad sad.. envy those with partners.. haiz.. bud never mind la.. hope this year would be a better year for me and hope i would be sucessful in my studies, my health and also my relationship..

WOOHOO... Hope eric can book out tml.. And then everyone stay healthy through the chinese new year.. Hmm.. looking forward to my new year goodies... pineapple tarts!

Starting a new life!!

2009-01-14T00:49:00.000-08:00

Being Single is best thing for me now.. As i could slow down the speed in life and observe more beautiful things around me.. And i also learn how to be more independent now.. I also learnt to cherish every moment i have in life and dun waste anytime on those unnecessary things..

Looking forward to go back to school and start a new term with my fellow school mates and teachers.. together learning a new skill. Thinking back, i think i prefer schooling then slacking at home or shopping everyday.. IT IS SO BORING!! I dun like that type of life.. MOVING ON AFTER THE LOST..

Really hope that this year would be a better year for me and free me from suffering.. I really hate getting hurt again and again.. Bud no one understand how i feel.. really feeling depressed.. weeping at one corner waiting for his rescue..

MY NEW YEAR RESOLUTION: I WANNA SLIM DOWN!! I WANNA SCORE WELL FOR MY EXAMS AND MOVE ON IN LIFE!

WITH LOVE,

MiinMiin